Page 94 of Playbook
“I don’t think so.” He drops an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of my thigh, and my hips lift off the bed of their own accord. His deep chuckle ghosts across my pussy, and I want to give in. I want to say all the things I’m thinking, yell at the top of my lungs, kiss him until he knows without a doubt no one has ever made me feel better than him. But I know I’ll regret it when this thing is over between us.
I gave so much of myself in my relationship with Chris, and when it was over, I felt empty. And the way Brogan makes me feel right now—I don’t ever want that to end.
TWENTY-FIVE
“God, I’m so jealous.”
“Says the girl who spent the last few weeks on the beach with her new husband drinking cocktails with little umbrellas.” I roll my eyes at Paige as I fill another goody bag with bachelorette essentials like hand sanitizer, breath mints, lip balm, Tylenol, and of course a beaded necklace with little penises. They go perfectly with the penis straws and naked men figurines to freeze inside the ice cubes I bought for the pre-outing cocktail hour I’m hosting before we head out on the town.
Sierra and Ben wanted to do a dual bachelor and bachelorette night, but I talked her into a girls-only hour before a night out.
My best friend just got back from her honeymoon and is keeping me company while I prepare for the big event.
She picks up one of the penis straws and holds it up. “I don’t know. It sounds like you got dicked-down betterthan me.”
My face flushes as memories of last night pervade my mind.
“You should see your face right now.” She laughs.
“Am I as red as I feel?”
“Like a tomato.” Her grin widens. “I assumed a guy like Brogan Six would be memorable in bed, but it must have been sensational. Your glow rivals mine, and I worked hard on this tan the past three weeks.”
“He’s just…” I struggle to figure out how to accurately describe him or just…any of it. “I don’t know. I’ve either been with some real duds or he’s exceptional.”
“I think you know the answer to that.”
“It isn’t just the sex,” I say. “He’s different than I expected. Deeper. More considerate, more thoughtful, just…more.”
Her dark auburn hair falls forward as she tips her head down and studies me carefully, making me self-conscious with the admission. I know Paige would never judge me, but I still feel a flash of panic that I’ve opened myself up in a way that I can’t take back. I know holding in the words won’t keep me safer, but it feels that way sometimes.
“You like him.”
“Of course I do. He’s Brogan Six. Everyone likes him.” My tone is light-hearted with a tinge of vulnerability.
“Everyone doesn’t know him. They just think they do.”
“I guess, but it’s still hard to wrap my mind around whatever we’re doing, knowing that he quite literally has a line of women waiting for us to break up. To fake break up.” I finish another goody bag and set it with the others. “You should see the way they come up to him at parties like they don’t even see me.”
“I will destroy them,” she says automatically, always wanting to have my back. God, I love her for that.
“No, it’s not even them. They’re just reacting to the lifestyle he’s crafted, which screams that the women he’s with are disposable.” My throat tightens on the last word.
“He doesn’t think you’re disposable.”
“No, of course he would never say that. He’s a good, decent guy, but that is quite literally the terms of our relationship. He made sure we had an expiration date from the very beginning.”
The look she gives me is bordering on pity.
“And somehow I still let myself get in over my head.” I drop my chin to my chest and groan.
“Honey, you can’t blame yourself for that. You’re not a robot. You’re a woman with real feelings. Sometimes we make plans and then things change.”
That’s the problem, though. Things haven’t changed, not really. I bought a one-way ticket to heartbreak.
“Being a robot might be easier.” I look up at my best friend, wishing she could solve it all for me.
She considers that for a moment like it might be possible to turn ourselves into mechanical beings. “Robot sex probably isn’t as much fun.”
