Page 131 of Forever Wild
My brows pinch together.
Jack nods even though I haven’t asked a question. “Sure, he catches the games on TV, but never in person. Not once. The last game he attended I was sixteen.”
“What happened?”
Jack’s quiet for a moment. The only noise is the hum of the overhead lights and the beeping of machines and computers in the hospital.
“He got hurt when he was playing in the minor league, ended his career before it really started. He struggled to find work after that, started drinking more frequently. For years it was just the new normal. Dad was laid off and drinking, and him and Mom fought constantly. Then one day I guess she just got tired of it. After she left, his drinking got worse. I’m not making excuses for him, but it was a crappy situation.”
“How old were you when she left?” I ask. He’s never mentioned his mom. To be honest, I assumed she died or something.
“Twelve.” His throat works.
“Jack…” My voice trails off.
“She had every right to leave him. He wasn’t easy to live with, but she just up and left without a word, washed her hands of us.” He shakes his head. “I still don’t understand how she could do that.”
“So you took care of him?” I already know the answer but ask the question anyway.
“I mean I wasn’t really much of a caretaker, but I made sure we had what we needed. Luckily, he’d managed to save enough before things got bad that money wasn’t an issue. It was tight, but we had a house and food.”
My throat and the back of my eyes burn with the need to cry, but I don’t because it won’t change anything and I know he doesn’t want my tears.
“My junior high school coach, John, you met him, he looked in on us too. He and dad were old friends and he’s one of the few people who knew the whole story. My dad was once promised to be the next Gretzky, and now the only thing people will remember is he was the town drunk.”
“What happened to your mom? Have you heard from her in all these years?”
He nods his head. “She tried to get in touch with me about a year after she left. She was living in Florida, and wanted me to come stay with her, but I couldn’t leave him. And also, fuck her, you know? She left me too.”
“I know it doesn’t make up for what you’ve been through, but your dad loves you. He might not be at your games, but he’s so proud of what you’ve accomplished.”
Jack snorts a disbelieving sound. “Has a funny way of showing it.”
I’m ready to tell him how wrong he is, but the doctor steps out into the waiting room and Jack stands, eager for the update.
39
CRANKY AND IRRITABLE
JACK
Sometime early in the morning I fell asleep sitting next to my dad’s hospital bed. I forced Everly to go home for the night. It wasn’t easy. She’s as stubborn as she is beautiful. She wants to be here for me, and I appreciate it, but this isn’t her problem. She shouldn’t suffer sleeping on hard chairs or miss work.
Work. Fuck. I’ve tried not to think about how I’m going to manage being here with dad and showing up for practice and games. Coach told me last night to take today at least so I don’t need to solve the problem immediately, but it consumes me anyway.
We have some tough games coming up and I don’t want to let the team down again. They need me.
I arch my back and roll my shoulders as I try to get comfortable in the chair. It’s early still. The lights in the hallway are dimmed and the hospital’s usual noise and activity is muffled.
“Jackson,” Dad’s voice is little more than a rasp,but I sit up like he yelled.
His face is pale, and his eyes are still droopy.
“Dad,” I say, wondering if I imagined him say my name.
He grimaces as he looks around at the machines and tubes hooked up to him. He swallows and his lips part and close twice before he’s able to do it again. “Jack.”
I stand next to his bed. He looks smaller, fragile, and like he’s aged ten years in the month since I’ve seen him. Guilt tries to consume me for not being there, but it’ll have to wait because this is no time for a pity party.
