Page 84 of Forever Wild
I lean forward slightly as I wait for him to continue.
“Your brother is concerned about you, and I feel bad that I’m messing around with you behind his back.”
“I’m old enough to decide who I date or mess around with.”
“Of course you are, but he’s my friend.” He takes a small sip of his beer as I sit impatiently for him to speak.
“He reminded me that you’re leaving soon.”
“O-kay,” I say slowly, trying to follow his line of reasoning.
“Maybe we should just call it now before things get any messier.”
“Why do we have to call it at all? It’s not like I won’t be back when it’s over. And I can visit on weekends.” I already plan to come back for as many home games as possible to see Charlotte and everyone else.
“Maybe you will come back when it’s over or maybe you’ll decide you want to stay or move across the country or the world… You don’t know what you want yet and that’s great. You should follow your ambitions.”
I breathe in through my nose and then exhale slowly. I know that people change. Their wants, their desires, their dreams, but this is my home. “I can’t imagine not coming back here,” I admit. “I’m not even sure I want to go.”
I know it’s what is expected and that it’s a great opportunity, but I like my life here and the people in it. Jack included. Maybe Jack most of all, if I’m being honest. The last few weeks have meant more to me than I can put into words or even wrap my brain around yet, but I know it’s true.
“You have to go.” His eyes widen.
I shrug one shoulder.
“Ev. No. You can’t stay. You and I are having fun, but it can’t go anywhere.”
“This isn’t about you and me,” I say, feeling myself get defensive. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I have a life here. Friends and family.”
“Who all want to see you happy and?—”
“You mean they want to be free from worrying about me.”
His face twists with surprise like he wasn’t expecting that.
“My parents were tired of dealing with me so they let me move in with Ty, and now he’s married and has Charlotte, and he wants me out of his hair too.”
“That’s not true.”
“I know he’d never say that, but it’s why he wants this so bad. If I get a job and move away, then he doesn’t have to keep looking out for me the same way. It frees him from the responsibility of me.” And I can’t really blame him. He has his own family now.
“I promise you that isn’t it.” He reaches for me, but I pull back, feeling raw and exposed. It hurts that he doesn’t want me here either. I thought…I thought that things had changed between us. Embarrassment makes my face hot. Jack is good at taking care of people and being what they need. And here I am making more out of it when it was my idea in the first place.
“You’re right. You and I aren’t going anywhere so it’s better to end things now,” I say then slide off the bar stool.
“Everly.” He stands and calls after me.
I feel the sting in the back of my eyes, but I absolutely will not let myself cry.
He moves in front of me, grasping my arms just below the elbow. “Don’t do this. You’re wrong. Lots of people care about you and want you here.”
“People like you?” I ask.
He doesn’t answer.
“That’s what I thought.” I stare up at his handsome face, ignoring the pull I have to ease the worry lines there. “Bye, Jack.”
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