Page 137 of Comeback
I like him a lot. He’s different than my dad, older, more talkative and friendly. My dad, even at his best, was introvertedand kept to himself. He liked being around people but was never the one doing a lot of talking. I don’t know if that’s who he is or just how I remember it. I guess I’ll never really know him.
Being with the Whitlocks doesn’t replace that small stab of pain of not having my own parents here, but it does make me realize that in five or ten years when I have my own family, I want to be a husband and dad who shows up and makes others feel welcome.
As we’re getting ready to leave, I find myself alone with Sabrina.
“Your brother found a new best friend,” I say and nod my head toward Brogan. He’s got one arm thrown over Mrs. Whitlock’s shoulders and she’s laughing too hard she can barely stand upright.
“I had an inkling that might happen. She always wanted more kids and Brogan is twenty-five going on ten.” Sabrina smiles and rests her head on my shoulder.
“You good?” I ask, moving so I can look into her eyes. She seems a little melancholy as the minutes pass.
“Yeah,” she says automatically and not at all convincing.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just worried about her.” She glances over to her mom and back to me. “I know it doesn’t make sense. She’s been healthy for months now and she looks great, but I just have this gnawing ache thinking about being away from her again.”
“Do you want to move back to Flagstaff?” Even asking the question has my gut churning. I can’t imagine waking up every day without her.
“No. I love it here. And I don’t actually think it would be any easier if I saw her all the time. I’m always just going to worry.”
“Can I tell you my biggest regret with my mom?”
She nods and gives me her undivided attention, even stepping another foot closer. “Of course.”
“I was younger than you when my mom was sick, so I know it isn’t the same, but I used to worry about her too. So much that it consumed me when she was around. I didn’t enjoy the good days that I had with her because I was so wrapped up in my own fear.”
She squeezes my hand. “I’m so sorry. That had to have been really hard to see your mom sick that young. Of course you were scared.”
“Thanks.” I squeeze her back. “The other thing I’ve realized as the years have passed is that she was scared too. God, she must have been so scared. She needed people to comfort her, and instead I was consumed with my own need for everything to be okay. I wish I had been one of those people for her more than anything.”
“Oh my god, I’m a selfish jerk.” She buries her head in my chest, and I feel her groan vibrate against me.
“No.” I chuckle softly and reach forward with one hand to tip up her chin. “You’re not selfish. You’re human. She’s your mom and you don’t want to lose her. But she doesn’t want to lose you either.”
“Thank you.” She lifts onto her toes and places a kiss on my lips, lingering there like she’s breathing me in.
“You’re welcome.”
We break apart and walk hand in hand to the rest of our group.
Brogan meets my gaze and smiles. Happiness practically radiates off him. I have a feeling he’s become an honorary Whitlock and I’m glad for him. He should have had a family like this instead of the shitty parents who left him to fend for himself.
“Should we have everyone back to our place and order some food?” he asks me.
I nod my approval, but Sabrina’s mom interjects, “We should probably go back to our place and get out of your hair.”
“But you leave tomorrow,” Sabrina says.
I smile and try my best to look as sincere as I feel when I say, “We’d love to have you come see the apartment and have dinner with us.”
Her dad shrugs. “Can’t say no to that.”
Sabrina and I walk behind the rest of the group.
She swings our hands between us. “Thank you for being so great with them.”
“I like them a lot. I can see a little of you in each of them.”
