Page 124 of Spotlight
“Do you know what it’s like for your own father not to give a shit about you?” A sardonic laugh leaves my lips. “Let me just tell you, it fucking sucks. I spent my whole life looking for you in the stands, wondering where you were and why you couldn’t make it. I’d never wish that on anyone.”
He says nothing, though, what is there to say?
“The past is the past, Dad. I don’t hold that against you. I never have. But what you do from here on out will determine the relationship that we have.” I stand from the stool, ready to leave, but there’s one more thing I need to say. For me, for Greer, for every kid like us.
“Someday I’m going to have kids, and I’m going to be there for them in all the ways you weren’t. Every game, every birthday, every milestone. I won’t be like you, and they won’t grow up questioning whether or not their dad gives a shit about them. I let you have a lot of chances to be in my life, but you’ll get a lot less to be in theirs. I will protect them from you the same way Knox tried to protect me from you. So, it’s on you. Come to the party, or don’t. But decide if you’re in or out once and for all.”
I get it now. I know why Knox has carried a chip on his shoulder all these years and why he was so reluctant for me to have a relationship with Dad. He was trying to keep me from feeling the very thing I feel right now.
I take one last look at my dad. I don’t know what the future holds for us, but I feel okay about that for the first time.
30
OLIVIA
The day of Greer’s kindergarten graduation, Flynn takes off practice early to come with me. Gigi, Grandpa, and Ruby are also in attendance. I’m under strict instructions to send Sabrina and Archer videos and pictures, as well as her dad. Ruby is standing in the back of the gym where the graduation is being held so she can video chat with my parents so they can see it in real time.
The kids still have two more days of school, but it’s almost summer and they are buzzing with excitement for break. None of them can sit still, and I have no idea how the teachers are managing it all.
“Are you okay?” I ask Flynn quietly. His leg is bouncing a mile a minute.
“Yeah,” he says quickly. “Great. Look how cute she is up there.”
He’s been a little off-kilter since his confrontation with his dad over the weekend. I don’t know all the details, but he said that they finally had it out over him continually walking in and out of his life. I’m proud of him for standing up to him.
I lace my fingers through his, resting on his leg, and the bouncing stops.
“You did the right thing,” I tell him, not for the first time.
“I know.” He nods. I think he believes that, but I also know it doesn’t make it any easier. Not facing things is easier because you can still believe what you want. Once you force people to commit, you have an answer that you can’t ignore. I’m familiar with that, but I can’t imagine dealing with it from my own parents. My heart breaks for him.
I squeeze his hand a little tighter and then the principal walks to the microphone to start the program.
It’s the most chaotic and adorable hour. Each of the kindergartners walks across the stage in a red cap and gown. There is a slideshow with their picture and a prompt for what they want to be when they grow up.
When it’s Greer’s turn, our entire row stands and cheers. Greer grins big as she hurries across the stage. Her blonde curls bounce under her cap. I’m vaguely aware that all eyes are on Flynn as he yells loudly. His bond with Greer is more than I ever could have imagined.
“Look.”
Gigi points to the slideshow as the principal reads, “When she grows up, Greer wants to be a professional baseball player or a princess.”
The audience laughs and I hear more than a few “awws.” Tears well in my eyes as I smile and clap. Greer accepts her certificate and then skips off to rejoin her class, sitting on the floor in front of the stage.
“Did you hear that?” Flynn asks as he sits down. He could not look prouder. “Baseball player came before princess.”
I lean over and press my lips to his.
* * *
As soon as the ceremony is over, we say goodbye to Ruby and my grandparents then Flynn and I take Greer for ice cream to celebrate.
Flynn has Greer on his shoulders as we walk down the sidewalk. I snap a few pictures of them as I follow behind.
He sets her down as we step inside the ice cream shop, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money for the claw machine. She takes it eagerly and bounds to the back of the store.
Flynn and I order and then take our ice cream to the same table we sat at a couple of months ago.
“Greer is visiting her dad for ten days in June,” I say. It’s something I’ve been meaning to bring up in hopes we could spend some of that time together.
