Page 56 of The Blessings of Christmas
THE CHRISTMAS BABY BUNDLE
BY BARBARA LOHR
CHAPTER 1
“You don’t touch me like you love me anymore, Connor.” The words felt like shards of glass in Amanda’s throat.
“That’s crazy.” Her husband jammed a hand through his thick auburn hair. Her palms tingled. Amanda ached to be the fingers in his hair, the lips on the neck he was rubbing, the voice whispering in his ear, asking him for more.
More like it used to be.
Not more of what they had now.
Enough of the arguments and the tension.
She wanted their crazy loving back.
The way it was before they tried to have a baby.
Across from the kitchen table, Connor was counting to ten. After nine years, she knew him that well. “OfcourseI love you, Amanda.”
“Doesn’t feel like it.” Maybesheshould have counted to ten. He pulled in a deep breath that expanded the broad chest that once brought her comfort.
Not anymore.
Snow pelted the kitchen window and the wind moaned in the eaves. Her meatloaf cooled on their plates. Connor always tooksecond helpings but not tonight. He’d hardly touched his meal. She loved him desperately but why couldn’t he understand?
“It doesn’t feel like you love me anymore, Connor,” she said quietly.
“Why would you say that?” His fist came down on the table. Plates jumped and so did she. “That is not true.”
But she wasn’t backing down. “Our marriage has become a duty. We make love on schedule.” That last was a whisper.
A muscle twitched in Connor’s cheek. His eyes never lifted from the table. There should be a law against men having lashes that long. Finally, he shoved back and picked up his plate.
“Aren’t you going to finish your dinner?”
“What? Now you’re my mother?” His plate landed on the counter behind them hard enough to shatter. But it didn’t.
With a frustrated growl, he crouched in front of her and scooped up her hands. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? Sweetheart, why are we arguing?” His thumbs brushed her knuckles.
Throat swelling, she shook her head. “Maybe we should see someone. A counselor.”
He blew out an exasperated breath. “Whoa. We can barely pay our medical bills now.”
“I can ask my dad…”
He dropped her hands and she curled them into her lap. “Amanda, that’s not right. Your folks are retired.”
“Do you think I enjoy asking them for help?” She hated it worse than Connor. But she’d give anything to save her marriage and they were in trouble. “For heaven’s sake, we have to do something. It’s Christmas, Connor.”
He sprang up with the grace learned on a basketball court, before he became a fireman. Hands on slim hips, he walked to the window and peered into the darkness like it might hold some answers. “We’re adopting a baby. I don’t understand why you can’t be happy about it. We should go to my family’s babyshower Sunday and enjoy it. Lord knows, we’ve waited long enough. You worry too much.”
“We’ve been disappointed before.” Taking her fork, she began to break the meatloaf into pieces.
“But McKenna helped us with this. All systems are go.”
“Doesn’t matter if your sister’s involved. Adoptions don’t always go through. I want to be prepared for the worst.”
