Page 72 of The Blessings of Christmas
After a final dash into the house to say good-bye, they were on their way. Connor followed behind her in the truck. Barely six o’clock and gray dusk was falling as they made their way up Harlem.
When they reached the house, Amanda pulled up into the garage, popped open her trunk and jumped out. Connor parked on the driveway behind her. Amanda began pulling out the small boxes first.
“Let me grab the heavy ones.” Coming up behind her, Connor nudged her gently aside. “I’ll bring in the car seat and the stroller. Do you believe a tiny baby needs all this stuff? Maybe we could return some of it. We could use the extra cash for the heating bills this winter.”
Swatting him, Amanda caught his mischievous smile. “Just try it, buster. I dare you. Let’s just set the boxes in the hallway,okay? I can put it all away tomorrow when I get home from school.”
“Think I’ll stow the stroller and carseat in the basement. This stuff takes up a lot of room.”
Amanda was on her way up the front steps and wheeled around. “But we’ll need the pumpkin seat to bring the baby home from the hospital.”
Connor almost ran right into her. “That’s not for another two weeks and what in Sam Hill is a pumpkin seat?”
“You don’t listen to me!” she wailed. Even she was surprised by the sound of her voice. This had been a long day and the exhaustion had returned.
Settling back on his boot heels, Connor got this cautious look. She’d seen that expression a lot. Guilt washed over her.
“You’re tired, honey,” he finally said quietly. “We don’t have to organize everything right now.”
His face closed. Her heart shriveled. Didn’t take much and they were right back squabbling. Stepping around her, Connor jammed the key into the lock.
“Do you want any dinner?”
Connor pushed open the door and dry heat rushed out. “Are you kidding? That spread will be with me for a while. You hungry? Didn’t look like you ate that much.”
“I’m fine. Let’s just get all this inside.” Avoiding his eyes, she stepped around him.
Must have taken them fifteen minutes to empty the car, stacking boxes in the front hall. Just looking at the steps made her tired. But Connor ran up and down the basement stairs and took some bags up to the nursery. Closing the door, she slid out of the red coat.
Connor settled in front of the TV, remote in his hand. Super Bowl would be coming up in January, so competition wasespecially keen right now. What their life would be like at the end of January?
For so long, it had been just the two of them. Those early years after the wedding had been so sweet. Made her smile to remember those days. How Connor had kidded her at first when they ate sloppy joes by candlelight. Sometimes they didn’t even finish dinner before he snuffed out the candles and hustled her toward the bedroom. Clothes would litter the floor along the way. The sofa and floor were also put to good use. In those years, they were hungry for way more than food.
Connor’s roar brought Amanda back to the living room and the game she wasn’t watching. Sometimes they seemed like an old married couple. Those light-hearted years had given way to grim determination once they realized having a baby was no easy trick. In time they stopped talking about it with family and friends. Connor seemed to take it all so personally.
While they struggled with infertility—Connor hated that word—Mark and Malcolm married and promptly began to produce children. That’s when their lives changed. Amanda tried not to let it bother her. Connor seemed so happy to be an uncle, but gradually his smile became set in stone. After those family celebrations—the showers, baptisms and birthdays—he came home silent and distant. The doctors’ appointments began.
At first, they were so hopeful. After all, Amanda was only in her mid twenties. They were told sometimes making a baby took time. The tension eased and Connor seemed to shift the responsibility to the doctor. They laughed about how they liked to practice, but “practicing” entailed taking her temperature and assuming certain positions. The kitchen calendar was marked with red X’s for the optimal times. When Connor came home dead tired after a long shift, the last thing he wanted to hear was that they were on deadline.
She’d never thought making love could become work but that’s exactly what happened. And with each appointment, each expensive procedure, Connor’s face took on a stoicism that broke her heart. The joy died slowly as disappointment took its toll. They started to pick at each other over small things.
Marriage became a duty.
The family they wanted so desperately, a dream.
When McKenna got to know Logan Castle at the hospital and suggested his clinic, Amanda tried not to get her hopes up. They met Logan when McKenna brought him to a family football party, which eased the way. His procedure made sense. The eggs were harvested, matured and inseminated outside her body before implantation. Sounded so simple but the first implantation failed.
Although Connor had firmly vetoed any thought of adoption, that all changed when Angie joined McKenna’s natural childbirth class.
Connor’s lips on her forehead brought Amanda upright. The clock on the mantel said almost ten. Must have fallen asleep. Amanda stood and stretched. “I’m beat.”
“Me too. We had a long day. Fun though. Sure you’re okay?’
“Fine. I’m just fine.”
He tugged her closer. Always safe in Connor’s arms, she needed his comfort tonight. “Maybe we should fool around tonight,” he whispered into her hair. “You know, in the spirit of the season.”
Warmth kindled deep in her belly. “Thought you were tired.” She nipped his lower lip, and their kiss deepened.
