Page 77 of Change My Mind
Addie nodded as she flicked her sunglasses back down. She took the entire scoop of ice cream into her mouth before slowly pulling it out. I lifted my eyes to the sky and mutteredcurses under my breath before looking back at her. I had said it was my turn to ask a question, but I had nothing.
And then I found something.
“If you were to walk into a room full of everyone you knew, who would be the first person you’d look for?”
Addie was silent, her ice cream cone frozen mid-air.
“Fuck. I don’t know. I would look for the person who could be my partner in crime, but I don’t know who that is for me anymore. Clo has Jesse, Becky’s got Gavin, I guess, Rachel and Lucy are kind of a package deal. Saying my parents is really fucking sad, and there would be a bunch of people that I know but don’t actuallyknow,you know? Wait, I know you! So, I guess, that’s my answer. You.”
That answer was even more gutting than the suggestion that I date other people.
As if there could be anyone else but her.
Forty-Eight
ADDIE
If I thought summer slipped away in the blink of an eye, it was nothing compared to how quickly September passed. It was a blur of academic year prep and building a new skeleton for my thesis. Regular lunch dates at Vivi’s with Clara. And regular orgasms with Eli.
With three days to go before the door opened on the next school year, the twins were re-braiding my hair.
“I continue to be amazed that you choose to live seventy-five per cent of your life with arse length hair,” Lucy said as she came to the end of another braid and let go. It hit my hip. Summer was over, and therefore, it was goodbye to shoulder-length braids. It was my favourite time of year.
“Luce, you shave your head, so of course arse length hair is hard for you to imagine,” I replied.
They had been at this for two hours, and my bum was starting to go numb. I kind of hoped that they would say they needed a break before I did, but so far, they were holding firm. Andtherefore so was I.
“So, I was out with some of the history lot yesterday and the funniest thing happened,” Becky continued as she reached the end of her braid.
“Are you going to share with the class what this funny thing was? Because I am not going to guess.” I said.
“You’re no fun. Anyway, Josh mentioned you.” I couldn’t see her, but I knew she was smiling as she said it. I don’t know what Becky got from our two-minute conversation last month, but apparently, it was enough for her to try and make it ‘a thing’.
“Okay. And?”
“That’s just interesting, I think. Don’t you?”
I snorted. “No, not really. Why would it be interesting?”
“He seemed interested in getting to know you better,” she said, like I was missing something important.
“What, like dating? You know I don’t do that.”
“Okay, but why not?” I could hear her pouting as she started on a new braid.
If I could have shrugged, I would’ve, but with both of them mid-braid, I had to remain stationary as I responded. “It’s more hassle than it’s worth, and I like my peace.”
“Dating isn’t that much hassle,” Becky argued.
“Bex, you haven’t dated in well over a decade. You have no idea how bad it is out there,” I countered.
Lucy laughed. “She has a point, Becky. I date, and it feels like more effort than it’s worth sometimes. I can see why Ads has sworn off it.”
“At least you’re trying, though, Lucy. Addie, I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to find someone to share life with. How can you not want a partner in crime or a confidant? What about someone to come home to at the end of the day or someone to catch you when you feel like you’re falling apart?”
It all sounded nice. In theory. But there was another side to the whole being in love thing.
“And someone who can rip your heart out at the drop of a hat? Yeah, no thanks. I would very much like to remain in control of my heartbreak,” I answered. My tone was harsh.
