Page 88 of Change My Mind
She looked stunning, and it made my heart ache.
“You’re working?” she asked, her eyebrows drawing together.
“Yeah,” I said simply.
I had been invited. I even received my own invitation to this one. And up until that text from Addie, I had planned on attending as a guest.
“Don’t work too hard,” Jesse said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.
I faked a smile and dragged my eyes away from Addie. “I can’t make any promises.”
With my tray now empty, I disappeared back into the kitchen.
Once the guestsof honour had arrived, I fell into the monotony of making sure the guests stayed fed. Cleared empty trays of food. Cooked more food. Removed cooked food from the oven. Put more trays out onto the tables.
Rinse and repeat.
After eight, I opened the dessert table, and as I was arranging the various cakes and cookies, I zoned back into my surroundings. Unsurprisingly, my eyes immediately fell on Addie. She was surrounded by her immediate family.
And then I saw him.
A man who could only be Josh, standing between Addie and Vivi, was channelling his inner Zeus. An outfit that Iwould have found hilarious if not for the fact that he fit in with them seamlessly.
Which was fine.
Iwas fine.
Then Josh took Addie’s chin in between his fingers and twisted her head to look at him. His lips pressed against hers. She reached out and rested her hands on his chest.
A cloche clattered to the floor somewhere close to me. I knew I needed to pick it up, but I wasn’t fully in the room.
I was both in Vivi’s and in my own flat in May.
I was standing behind a caterpillar cake, and I was standing frozen in the doorway, my keys dangling from my fingers.
I was watching Addie fall into a kiss, and also watching Freya throw her head back in pleasure on our sofa with a man who wasn’t me.
I managed to get back to the kitchen with no idea how I did it. But before I knew it, the cool metal of the fridge was against my forehead. It felt great, but it wasn’t enough to ground me.
I couldn’t breathe.
I was distantly aware of someone coming into the kitchen. The swinging door creaked on its hinges. Then there were hands covered in silver, wrapping around my waist and gently pulling me away from the fridge. Clara managed to twist me around in her arms and get us both down on the floor before pulling me in closer. I could hear the steady pulse of her heart and feel the slow movement of her chest.
“Eli, can you breathe in for four for me?” Clara’s voice was soft.
I tried. I managed to count to two before my breath stuttered.
“Good. Try again. Follow me.”
Clara counted to four slowly. I managed to get to the endof the count. We breathed out at the same time. Repeating the pattern a further five times before I finally felt like I had my breathing under some kind of control.
“Five things?”
It wasn’t lost on me that Clara didn’t even ask the whole question.
I took another slow breath.
“Jam stain on the floor. The counter. The bottom of the fridge. Your dress. My arm.”
