Page 40 of Wreckage of My Life
“Hey, sorry if I woke you…”
“No, I wasn’t sleeping. Just resting my eyes.” The chuckle he lets out ends on a pained groan.
“I wanted to know how you’re doing.” I start chewing on my bottom lip, my right leg bouncing on the floor like a nervous tic.
I am surprised when he doesn’t try to play it off like its nothing. “Not good, Bex. But better. Appreciate the call…”
There’s a pregnant pause where neither one of us says anything, waiting each other out to see where this conversation is going to go.
“How’s Ethan?” Thinking of a little boy meeting his father for the first time, then having to move to another state is giving me anxiety. I can’t even imagine how he’s feeling.
“Okay, I guess.” Dylan doesn’t sound convincing at all. Instead, he is almost giving out cold vibes.
“You guess?” I chuckle nervously.
“He’s gotten quite attached to my brother’s woman,” he mumbles into the phone. “Cries for her and shit. He is scared to even look at me.”
My heart is breaking for this man. It sounds like he doesn’t know what to do with the little human he is suddenly responsible for.
“Well, I hope you don’t sound like an asshole when you talk to him.” The implication is that he always sounds like an asshole. “Kids don’t like that.”
“I talk like me,” he grumbles, making me smile. I am coming to the conclusion that I may have witnessed a side of Dylan that not very many people do. It makes me feel special in its own weird way.
“Are you still in Illinois?”
“Yeah, but getting ready to leave by the end of this week.” He sounds more focused now, like he’s on a mission.
“Your ribs okay?”
“Yeah. They still hurt,” he adds, “but they feel much better. I can move around now.”
“That’s really good, Dylan,” I whisper, loving the way his name sounds on my lips. “Really good.”
“Becca…” It’s almost like he’s trying to come up with a way to let me down easy, but I get it.
“It’s okay, Dylan. I wasn’t expecting anything.” I feel stupid now, unsure of why I even called. “I just thought I’d check on you. As a friend,” I rush to add.
“A friend,” Dylan repeats. “I’ve never had a friend like you before.”
“I’ve never had a friend like you before either,” I chuckle. “I didn’t mean to call,” I finally admit.
“Why did you call, Becca?” His voice sounds gruff, almost like he’s holding emotion back, but he doesn’t seem to be the emotional type of person to begin with.
“I…” I stumble over my words. With my heart in my throat, I decide to be honest about it. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“Becca…” Dylan sighs so big, it’s like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. However, what he says next completely melts me on the spot, especially since it is the opposite of what I thought he’d tell me. “I can’t stop thinking about you either.”
God, this feels like such an impossible situation. My mind is running with ideas of how we could overcome all these obstacles in our way.
“Nothing more can happen, Becca.”
I snap out of my brainstorming when I realize what he just said.
“Dylan,” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No, you don’t understand. My life is not for you, Becca. None of it.”
“I’m not asking you to marry me,” my voice turns as cold as his right now. Here I was ready to put my heart on the line, and he pushes me away. Again. “That’s okay though. You said no before, and now I just feel clingy and pathetic.” And I really do. I hate myself that I called him today.
