Page 36 of Wreckage of Me
“You can’t talk about this with anyone,” he orders me in a stern voice. “Not for a while at least,” he adds, most likely because my eyes must look like they’re about to fall out of my head.
“Okay…” I don’t know what else to say. I’m scared of what he may tell me. What if it’s illegal? Will I have to testify against him? Oh my god, I may end up on the news!
Unaware of my inner freak-out session, he watches me carefully, making sure I understand what he’s about to tell me.
“The clubhouse,” he starts in a somber tone, “blew up.”
I just continue staring at him, blinking once in a while, but unable to form any words.
“I… I… I…” I’m stuttering again. I do that sometimes when I’m nervous. And this qualifies as a situation that would make me nervous.
All of a sudden, a thought comes out of nowhere, and blood rushes to my head, almost giving me an instant headache. On instinct, I throw myself at Dylan, taking both of us by surprise.
“You could’ve died,” I whisper in the darkness of the car. “You could’ve died.” I have that on repeat. Because while I hate his guts for what he did to me, the thought of him being dead wouldgutme.
“Baby,” Dylan’s arms come around me, holding me to his chest for the longest time.
If feels so good to be held by someone other than my brother, I realize with a start, then promptly start crying.
“Fuck!” Dylan’s large hand cups the back of my head, holding me hostage against his chest. Although, would it be considered being held hostage if I don’t want him to let go of me?
“Don’t cry, baby,” he croons into my hair, kissing the top of my head.
I can’t stop it though. It feels like everything’s crashed into me at the same time. All that happened between us and then to him six months ago, my brother leaving for training camp shortly after I got back home, the fact that we had sex with no condom, and I know nothing good will come out ofthat, it all crashes into me right now, and I can’t let it go.
Also, the fact I’m realizing that I’m in love with Dylan Knight is not helping one bit.
13
Dylan
Wrecker is dead.He died in that explosion along with his president and the rest of the club brothers who went with him. I am just Dylan Knight now.
It feels almost unnatural to be a civilian, not associated with any organization. I feel lost. That’s the reason I came looking for Becca, I think. I feel like she’d give me purpose again.
I do have to say that her mentioning a possible pregnancy scared the shit out of me. I am in no position to have kids. More kids. I finally got a good life for the one I have. What would I do if Becca told me she got pregnant? I wouldn’t bolt, but… fuck. It can’t happen.
Now I’m sitting in her car, with her sobbing on my shoulder about me cheating death.
“I’m sorry,” she finally hiccups, seeming to get her shit together some. “I have no idea why that hit me like that…”
I debate for a second how honest I should be with her. I obviously can’t walk around telling people about my part in the clubhouse debacle. I also have to be aware of the fact that no matter how obsessed my brain and cock seem to be with her, I don’t really know Becca that well. She could run to the FBI with the information.
“Are you okay?” she finally asks me with a sniffle at the end. Cutest shit ever.
“Never been better,” I smirk at her.
I’m not even lying, as sad as that may sound. I lived in a dirty world, a world that would’ve gotten me killed, sooner rather than later. Leaving the club of my own free will would not have been possible. My father wanted me dead no matter what. And if it was just me, I would’ve been okay with that. But I couldn’t die and leave Ethan in his clutches.
“What about…” She pauses like she’s trying to gather her thoughts. “What about Ethan?”
It’s like she’s always in my head, aware of the direction of my thoughts at all times. How else can I explain the fact that she’s asking me this just as I’m thinking about my son?
“Ethan is fine,” I nod, but don’t offer more information.
“Did he get hurt?” she almost whimpers. “In the explosion, I mean.”
“No, my ma had taken him up to Illinois, to my brother’s.”
