Page 32 of Wreckage of Us
Dylan
The lookon Becca’s face when I informed her that I’m moving in should’ve been caught on film. It would’ve made me laugh under normal circumstances. Nothing about what’s happening with us is normal though, so I can’t even crack a smile.
“You’re moving in,” she repeats like she’s hallucinating. “You’re moving in,” and now she’s laughing her head off.
“Sure am,” I nod in confirmation, my eyes going to the large duffle bag I dropped by the door when we all got here. I have no idea how she never noticed it, but now she sees it too, and her eyes go big in her face.
“Wait,” she puts a hand up as if to stop me. “Are you serious right now?”
“As serious as a bullet to the head,” I inform her.
“Okay, just so you know,” she snarls at me, “you always making analogies related to bullets to the head is not exactly endearing.”
“So noted,” I chuckle. I didn’t realize I was doing it.
“And who do you think you are, just walking in here and telling me you’re moving in?”
“The father of your baby,” I shrug like it is the most normal thing in the world.
“Yeah, well,” she rolls her eyes at me, “up until a few hours ago, you were accusing me of sleeping around. Warning me that I better not show up on your doorstep pregnant. That you…”
All of a sudden, her eyes fall on something, and she stops talking. I turn my head and notice Ethan standing in the doorway from the living room, listening to us intently. He looks a bit nervous and brings his hand up like he wants to suck on his thumb. I remember that move from when he stayed with me at the clubhouse, but I would’ve thought he was over it by now.
“Hey, bud,” I call out to him, now worried. “What’s going on?” I wave my arm for him to come to me, and when he does, I let out a sigh of relief.
“I need to go potty,” he tells me when he’s close enough for me to pick him up. He gives Becca a shy look, then puts his face on the side of my neck, breathing into it. “Ali said to ask Becca to help me,” he mumbles quietly.
“Oh, I,” Becca presses a hand to her chest, all of a sudden just as nervous as my son seems to be. I am caught in the middle of a situation I never imagined, and I don’t know what to do either.
“Can he use the restroom?” I finally ask for her permission.
“Of course,” she whispers quietly, then leads us to the guest bathroom she has on the main floor. I remember it well since this is where I followed Becca that one time when she threw her guts out. Now I wonder if it was from her being pregnant and not from her getting whatever stomach virus I’d been nursing.
“What do we do?” she gives me a worried look when we’re all just stopped in front of the door.
“I go potty,” Ethan enlightens us, struggling for me to put him down, which I do. “Ali says to sit on the potty so I don’t make a mess.” He becomes a little chatter box now. “But I can do it standing up,” he tells us proudly. “You wanna see?”
“I… I… I…” Becca starts stuttering, staring at me with wide eyes, unsure of what to say. I just want to laugh at the entire situation, but I don’t think she’d appreciate it.
“Go for it, bud,” I tell Ethan in an amused tone. “You need help with your pants?”
“No, I can do it,” he says proudly. “I do it at home, too.”
At home.
The smile dies on my lips at hearing my son calling the place where he liveshome. But I am happy for him as well. It really is the only stable home he’s known.
“Should we…” Becca worries her bottom lip while staring at Ethan, then glancing at me. She points with her thumb toward the hallway, indicating we should leave.
“Watch,” Ethan looks back to make sure we’re both still here. He’s already lifted the toilet seat up and dropped his little pants and underwear, the t-shirt he has on coming down just long enough to cover his butt cheeks.
“I do it, see?” he grins at us when a small stream of pee hits the toilet. The movement makes his hand jerk, which in turn makes him squirt pee all over the floor.
“Oh no,” he stares at it in surprise, then looks at us. “Ali says not to do that,” he explains. “She says to sit on the potty when I go.”
“It’s okay,” Becca fights back a laugh. “That’s how you learn, right?” Ethan’s head bops up and down. “I’ll go get stuff to clean it all up.” With that, she takes her leave.
“Point it at the toilet, bud,” I squat next to him and point to the object in question. “See the top line of the water?” I show him. “Can you aim it there?”
