Page 54 of Wreckage of Us
I take a deep breath in and get ready to tell her everything. My hand goes up and down her leg, stopping every so often to caress her ass cheeks. Her complaining that they hurt is making me smile.
I remember me telling her some things about Ethan on that day by the creek, after we fucked for the first time. I didn’t give her very many details, and now it’s time I finally fessed it all up.
“When I first learned about Ethan,” I start, “I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.”
Becca gasps and attempts to pull away from me, but I force her to stay in place.
“I had no idea who his mother was. I only had her legal name and where she lived at the time. The name didn’t ring a bell, and I hadn’t been up in Illinois in a lot longer than five years by that time.”
“Oh,” she worries her bottom lip, making me want to kiss it better. I can’t be distracted right now though.
“My mother,” I chuckle out loud, “she was ready to rip me a new one.”
“I can see that happening,” Becca snorts. “She is a very strong lady.”
“You don’t even know the half of it,” I roll my eyes to the ceiling and smile. “The woman who claimed she was the mother of my child…”
I wince when the words come out of my mouth. In spite of me ending up loving Ethan and wanting to give him a good life, I can’t help but regretting the choice in mother.
“She had been sleeping with my father as well,” I now tell Becca, taking in the way her eyes become huge in her face.
“You thought Ethan was his?” she whispers softly, pity obvious on her face.
“Worse,” I chuckle in self-deprecation. “Hethought Ethan was his,” I tell her. “And because of that, he decided that he was going to eliminate me, cash in on the life insurance policy he had on my head, then raise my son as his own, groom him and turn him into the monster he was. That was his revenge on my mother, which I didn’t understand until recently,” I confess.
“How so?”
“He had to have known that Wyatt wasn’t his.” I am speculating, but it all makes more sense now. “He was going to force my mother raise Ethan, not knowing that he was really my father’s son just like my mother forced Pops to raise Wyatt without knowing that he wasn’t his son until close to him leaving the club.”
It’s fucked up, but I can see it all with much more clarity now.
“Dylan.” Tears are now running down Becca’s face. “That’s awful.”
“It is,” I agree. “That’s around the time when I realized that I needed to get out of the club. I had fleeting thoughts about it before,” I make sure to add. “Especially after meeting you…”
“Dylan,” she hiccups. She really has been crying a lot lately, and over everything, so I can’t tell if she is really that affected by what I’m telling her right now, or she is in one of her usual crying fits.
“I realized that club life was not where I wanted my son to grow up in.” Damn it, I am getting a little chocked up now too. “I had a hard time bonding with him…”
“I remember you saying that,” she gives me a watery smile. “When we talked those few times,” she explains.
“Yeah,” I nod. “Well, I was scared as all fuck, and I didn’t feel anything when I looked at him. He was scared too, and he just cried all the time. Ma couldn’t calm him down, nobody could.”
I decide to skip over the club whores trying to talk to him and him saying they smelled. I have a feeling Becca would not appreciate the humor in that particular situation.
“What changed your mind?” The hand she had resting on her little belly comes up to touch my face. She cups my cheek and runs her thumb up and down, much in the way I always do to her.
“He is my flesh and blood,” I state with conviction. “And even though I wasn’t exactly elated with where the other half of his DNA had come from, I couldn’t turn my back on him.”
“You felt obligated,” she mutters, seemingly only to herself.
“There’s that," I agree. “But one day,” I rush to add, “he let me hold him. He put his small head on my shoulder and just let me hold him.”
“Oh god.” She’s crying again.
“I knew I had to take him out of there no matter what. I also realized that I’d do the same even if he wasn’t mine,” I make sure to add.
“Really?” Becca sounds surprised. And I don’t blame her, not with my track record.
