Page 55 of Wreckage of Us
“I didn’t want him to grow up like me and Wyatt had,” I explain. “I also had to come to grips with the fact that I had always been insanely jealous of Wyatt.”
“Why?”
“He got out of there as soon as he turned eighteen,” I shrug, sounding like a petulant teenager. “I was never given the option.”
“Makes sense,” she agrees with sadness.
“I was jealous of his life, the one he built for himself up in Illinois,” I continue, ready to get everything off my chest. “After meeting you, I couldn’t help but think that could’ve been my life too had I been able to leave early.”
“Oh, Dylan,” she whimpers, her hand never leaving my face.
“I had plans in place to leave,” I tell her. “There were so many moving parts, and at the center of it all was Ethan. I desperately needed him to be safe and out of there. Same with Ma,” I make sure to add. “But Ethan was my number one priority.”
“How did Emily’s father come into play?”
I hesitate when she asks that. I don’t think Becca knows anything about Devereaux’s background, and it is not something she should be aware of anyway. The less she knows, the better as far as I’m concerned.
“Ma knew him from way back,” I decide to bend the truth a little.
“So she cheated on your dad with Mr. Stewart?” She tries really hard but can’t hide the disdain in her voice.
“It’s a very complicated story. I’ll let Ma tell you all about it when she’s ready to share, okay?” I feel like I need to do right by Ma while I also don’t want Becca to think ill of her. It’s all so fucked up, and I don’t know when I made the transition to this caring person, but here we are.
“Okay,” she agrees, and I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “So what happens to Ethan now?” she brings us back on track.
“That morning at the hotel when I got arrested,” I begin the recollection of one of the worst days of my life after one of the best nights ever. “My father had framed me for attempted murder. Well, it turned into murder because the dude ended up dying…”
“Jesus, I remember that.” Her gasp of distress is almost cute. She’d most likely drop dead on the spot if she knew of half the things I did in my lifetime. For the club. It was always for the club.
“Ma found out about it. She called Dev… uh, Jon,” I catch myself and use his actual name since that’s what Becca knows him as. “He had the resources to help us. He got me, Sully and Puck out, made sure Ma and Ethan were safely with Wyatt.”
“What about David?”
Ah, Shorty. I almost forgot about him and the part he played in the whole mess.
“Unfortunately, Shorty didn’t make it.”
“He died in the explosion? With your father?” Becca almost whimpers.
“Yes.” What else can I say other than yes.
We stay like this in silence for a few minutes. Becca is touching my chest, staring at some invisible spot while her fingers draw an infinite pattern on my skin.
“So, your mom took Ethan to Wyatt and Alison?” she finally breaks the quiet moment.
“While I was in jail, Jon’s attorney helped me draw up paperwork for Wyatt to take over custody of Ethan,” I explain. “I thought I was going to either die or spend many years in the federal prison.”
Becca’s forehead drops to my chest, her distress over my words evident.
“Wyatt agreed without hesitation to take my son in,” I continue. “Knowing that he would be responsible for him for years to come. Alison,” I start getting choked up now as I recollect the events. “She used to be Ethan’s pre-school teacher. They had a bond. I knew they would give him the life he deserved. A life I didn’t think at the time I could give him.”
“And now?” Becca’s quiet question rattles the cage around my heart in a big way. I had managed to compartmentalize the emotions I feel toward Ethan in a safe box of sorts. One where I knew Ethan was happy with my brother and his wife, giving him the life I didn’t think I was capable of.
Except… now I could.
It is such a sobering thought. I am now in a position to give Ethan everything he has with Wyatt and Alison. But…
“It wouldn’t be fair to him,” I choke out, the sound almost strangled when it leaves my mouth. “It wouldn’t be fair to Wyatt or Alison either. But mostly to Ethan.”
