Page 15 of Nothing to Lose: Lost Trilogy: Part 1
“How’s school?”
She gives me an indulgent smile when she asks that, as if me going to school is just something I’m doing for fun. For a quick second, it makes me think of Steve and the way he questioned my career choice only minutes ago.
“School is great,” I smile at her. “I am almost done actually. And then, I’ll be working at the big hospital in Red Lodge.”
I couldn’t disguise my excitement about it even if I wanted to. This is something I’ve been wanting to do since I was a little girl. When people would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer would always be the same — a nurse.
I am pretty sure that the reason for it is the many nurses I grew up around. With my mother always being so sick and frail, my father made sure that she always had what she needed, even if she refused the medical care. He never forced her to accept it, but he never backed out when she would tell him to send everyone home. He just wanted to make sure she had it all available at any time.
My parents’ marriage had not been this great love match. It’s never been a secret to anyone, least of all me. Since I grew up being aware of it, I never thought anything of it.
With all that being said, I did wish my parents loved each other. I saw how other couples were around each other, and I swore I’d never end up in a relationship like what Jon and Alice Stewart had.
“You’ve always been so ambitious, Emily,” my mother surprises me with her words. I almost jump out of my skin when she grabs my hand and holds it. It fees… nice. I am not used to spontaneous shows of affection. I normally hug her on my way out, she pats me on the back, and there’s that.
“That’s a good thing, I hope,” I chuckle nervously.
“Of course it is.” She takes it one step further and pushes some hair out of my eyes. “You got that from your father, you know.” Her smile shows a hint of wistfulness. “I wish I could’ve been like that when I was younger. Now,” she shrugs, “it’s just too late.”
Her words give me the push I didn’t know I needed to ask her more personal questions. We never have this kind of conversations.
“Do you ever regret leaving Texas?” I almost whisper, voice shaky from the nerves.
Her response is quick. “Never.”
“Really?”
From my understanding, my mother had a charmed life while growing up in her homes state of Texas.
“I have so many bad memories from being there,” she confesses, squeezing my hand just a little tighter, or at least as tight as her weak muscles would allow her.
“I’m sorry, mom.”
“Your father saved me, did you know that?” She brings her eyes to mine. I am shocked to see how blue and clear they are all of a sudden.
“He did?”
I wonder what the story there is. I thought they married for money. They both came from rich families, hers in Texas and his in Montana, and they were both an only child in their respective family. Bringing all that money together made sense.
“I think you’re old enough now to learn about everything,” she winks at me.
“Okay…” I sound unsure even to my own ears. I am both excited and scared of what she is about to tell me.
“When I was about the age you are now,” she starts, then pauses to think. “Twenty-two?” she makes sure to confirm, making me laugh.
“Twenty-two,” I bob my head up and down.
“When I was twenty-two, I fell in love with a man. His name was Adam. He was handsome and so kind.” She lets go of my hand and presses both of her hands to her chest. “He would call me all the time, take me out on dates. His sense of humor was out of this world,” she is laughing now as if she’s listening to Adam telling her the best jokes.
“He sounds amazing.” I lean back against the seat of the couch and make myself more comfortable.
“He really was,” mom agrees. “Until he wasn’t.”
“What happened?” I force myself to ask, heart in my throat.
“My father wanted to teach me a lesson,” she lets out a sad chuckle. “He paid Adam a very handsome sum of money to wine and dine me, then throw me away like a piece of garbage.”
“Mom,” I lift my hand to touch her, but she seems cold and lost in her memories right now. I don’t think my affection would be appreciated.
