Page 18 of Nothing to Lose: Lost Trilogy: Part 1
“Yeah,” he answers after a few long rings, sounding a bit frazzled.
“Steve,” I try to infuse as much cheeriness in my voice as possible. “It’s Emily.”
“Emily,” he grumbles, almost in annoyance. “What can I do for you?”
“Uh, I just left my mom. She gave me some news. I was hoping I could…”
Some background noise seems to distract him from our conversation, and now I feel bad.
“I’m so sorry, Steve,” I mumble with sadness. “I know how busy you are. I should’ve known better.”
“We’ll talk about this tomorrow. How does that sound?” It sounds like we’re doing a business transaction, I think to myself but don’t say it.
We hang up, and I force myself to get my car back into gear, then turn around to head to Sunny. That’s the small town I moved to only a month ago.
Sunny, Montana, population two thousand, is the cutest little town you could ever see. It is a bit of a drive to Red Lodge where I’ll be working, but it doesn’t bother me at all. The small house I’m renting is adorable, and the rent is cheap. That’s all I need at this time, even though I could live comfortably in my parents’ house.
By the time I finally make it home, it’s almost dark out. I drag my feet inside, not even bothering to turn the light on in the living room. Instead, I head straight to the small bedroom in the back. It has an attached bathroom, a perfect setup for me.
I undress slowly while the water is running in the shower, then wash up even slower as I go over today’s events.
“I am a lot sicker than what you probably realize,” my mother told me in her always calm tone.
I just stared at her, hoping I heard her wrong. Considering this was the very first time in my life that we were having a heart to heart conversation, I was already starting to have high hopes for the future. I finally felt close to my mother.
“How much sicker?” I whispered, willing her to tell me that maybe it’s nothing like I was thinking.
My mother grabbed my hand again and patted gently, then gave me the sweetest smile.
“I am in kidney failure. There’s nothing they can do.”
I just stared at her in shock, then finally shook my head to clear my head of the chaotic thoughts that were hitting me every which way.
“I don’t understand. Have you received any treatment for it?”
I would’ve known if something this big was happening with her. My father would’ve told me, I’m sure of it.
“Does dad know?” I whispered in despair.
“Not yet,” she continued smiling. It was like we were talking about the weather. “I wanted you to be the first to know.”
“What sort of a treatment plan are you on?” I asked. “And what doctor did you see for this?”
She used to see the specialist from the hospital in Red Lodge, and I know my father would’ve taken her anywhere to find treatment for her.
“It’s too late for any treatment, Emily,” she gave me a sweet smirk, one side of her mouth tilted upward.
“I don’t understand, mom.” My voice started shaking, the shock setting in. “Did you do dialysis? When? How did I not know anything about this? What about a transplant? I want to get tested and see if I can be a donor, and…”
“Emily,” Alice Stewart placed her thin fingers over my lips, then proceeded to break my heart. “I won’t be doing any of that. It’s over.”
“But…” I shook my head in confusion.
“No. I don’t want any of that. I’m ready to go.”
“Ready to go where?” I whimpered in despair. I didn’t understand any of this.
“Emily,” mom chastised me in her always soft voice. “Youknowwhat I’m telling you. I thought it would be easier if I told you in person. I didn’t want you to be taken by surprise.”
