Page 19 of Nothing to Lose: Lost Trilogy: Part 1
“Taken by surprise?” I squealed. “You don’t thinkthisis taking me by surprise?”
“It’s better than you just finding me dead, don’t you think?” she started laughing. She suddenly developed a sense of humor.
“When are you going to tell dad?” I asked without taking my eyes off her. That’s how I detected the slightest wince at the mention of my father. Deep down, she did care about him a lot more than she wanted to admit, even to herself.
“Jon will be fine,” she assured me. “He will finally be free to be with whoever he chooses. I was just a stepping stone in his path to happiness. But I was happy to do it. He gave me you.”
I jumped in place when she reached for my face and touched my skin ever so gently. All of a sudden, I saw her with different eyes. She looked sick, sure, but happy, happier than I’d ever seen her.
“How long do you have?” I finally asked, accepting what she’d told me. What choice did I have anyway?
“Any day now. And I need you to make me a promise, Emily.”
I looked down and squeezed my eyes tight, forcing myself not to cry.
“Never cry for me, Emily,” my mother requested in the softest tone. “I will be happy. I will be at peace. And knowing you’d be crying for me would unsettle my afterlife.”
I nodded in understanding, but I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t.
“I will come see you tomorrow,” I promised her before leaving.
“I love you, Emily,” she whispered in my ear when I hugged her. I knew she meant it since she didn’t say it very often.
And now, I am all alone in my little house in Sunny, wondering why life is so weird at times.
For example, why couldn’t my mother have the happy life she had hoped for with Adam and their baby? What sort of a twisted sense of humor God had when He decided that she should lose them both?
But then, a soft voice whispers in my head, one that sounds too much like my mother’s,you wouldn’t be here today, Emily…
I probably should’ve called my father as soon as I left their house. But I wanted to respect her wishes and let her give him the news on her own terms.
He probably knows by now, and, as I question the meaning of life, I do wonder how he feels about it. Who is this woman he was in love with? Is he still in love with her today? Has he been cheating on my mother all this time?
So many questions, and none of the answers.
I wish Steve was here so I could talk this through with him. Then again, he doesn’t strike me as the type of person who would want to listen to my random existential thoughts.
I’m not sure for how long I sit on the couch in my small living room. My hair is not as wet as it was when I got out of the shower, and I feel chilled to the bone.
My cell phone ringing in the quiet evening startles me to death. I press a hand to my chest and rush to grab it from the kitchen. I left it there at some point throughout the evening.
“Dad,” I whisper into the speaker when I answer. I know he’s calling me to check on me. Mom must’ve given him the news.
“Emily,” his deep voice rumbles over the line. “I have some news for you…”
“I already know, dad,” I whimper. “I was there earlier, and we talked.”
“Emily,” he cuts me off. “I don’t think we’re talking about the same thing. What time were you here today?”
“Uhhh,” I press a hand to my forehead, trying to think. “I don’t remember the exact time. Maybe four or so?”
“She told you she was sick?”
“She did,” I confirm. “She said she didn’t want any treatment. How long has this been going on?”
“She never told me anything, and she made sure none of the doctors treating her would contact me about it.” Dad doesn’t sound happy at all. I thought maybe I’d hear some relief in his voice. He will be free soon after all.
“How long do you think she has?” I finally ask.
