Page 37 of Lose to Win: Lost Trilogy: Part 3
“Puck is a good man,” Dad adds thoughtfully. “He is the best man I could’ve ever wished for you, baby.”
I start crying. “He is going to get hurt, I just know it. And if I don’t die with him, I’m scared of what life would be like for me.”
“Why do you not trust me to get this resolved for all of us?”
“Do you even know what you’re dealing with?” I snap at him in distress.
“Do you?” he fires back.
I look at him and have these visions of him dead and in a casket. Arlene is crying over him, wanting to jump in the grave with him. Their son is watching me with hate and disgust.
“Will you help me with a lawyer?” I ask him when I don’t know how to answer his question without giving myself away.
“I’ll call some favors tonight. We’ll have everything drawn this week.”
“Thank you, dad.”
“You are my world, Emily,” he smiles at me with pride, joy and also a little bit of sadness. “You should know that by now. Any recent events have not changed any of that.”
I know he is referring to Arlene and Wyatt Knight, but I don’t comment. I still feel guilty for not wanting to meet my brother on the day when I had the opportunity.
An unexpected headache is making me forget everything in an instant. I have the sudden need to lie down.
“I think I’m going to go take a nap,” I tell dad, then stand up on shaky legs.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just tired and stressed,” I assure him.
“Puck is coming back here later. He just needed to take care of a few things at the house.”
I wave him off. I don’t think Puck would want to spend any alone time with me right now anyway. As I walk upstairs to my old room, I am reminded of how he made me feel in that hotel room in Vegas.
He pleasured me until I thought I would expire form his careful ministrations, but then he didn’t let me take care of him. I thought for sure that he would stand up from the floor, take his cock out and slide right into me. Instead, he just took me to bed where he placed me under the covers and told me to take a nap.
It’s like I am in the twilight zone. Nothing makes sense, no matter how hard I try.
I cry in relief when I make it to the room, then lie down on the bed, my head sinking into the soft pillow. I wish I could call Becca, cry on her shoulder about the predicament I’m in. But I can’t, especially seeing as I don’t have a cell phone anymore. My own phone got lost somewhere at the cemetery, and the one Steve gave me, I have no idea where it is.
When I close my eyes, my mind wanders to the baby in my belly. I hesitate at first, but then finally place a hand over my stomach. After hearing dad talk about Arlene and the baby Bricks forced on her, I feel more open minded about my predicament.
No matter who the father is, this baby will always be a part of me as well. Why can’t I just love the baby for that? Focus on the good instead of the bad. That’s what I need to do.
That’s how I fall asleep, with my fingers splayed over the spot on my belly where the baby is growing.
Next thing I know, Puck’s weight settles next to me on the bed, his much larger hand covering my own.
“You’re back,” I whisper, tears threatening to fall from my eyes once again.
“I told you I would never leave you,” he whispers back, then kisses me softly on the lips. “You’re mine now. For good.”
“I’m scared.”
The confession is out before I can bring it back. But everything is such a jumbled mess, and not matter what I do, I worry that it will be the wrong decision.
“I am, too,” Puck whispers back as he flexes his fingers over my belly. “I am scared that I am not good enough for you,” he surprises me when he continues. “I’m scared that I can’t protect you from all the evils of the world. I am scared that I will be a shitty father to our baby, because that’s all I’ve ever known.”
I am choked with emotion at hearing his words. We are both scared and worried, and we may not make it out alive, in which case it wouldn’t matter at all what kind of parents we would or would not make.
