Page 39 of Lose to Win: Lost Trilogy: Part 3
“I thought you’d love being back home and in your old room, Em,” dad teases me. His playful nature has been shining through more and more lately, a thing that actually throws me off.
I’ve been at his place for a few weeks now. Puck brought me a new phone so that we could communicate when he wasn’t there with me.
Things between me and Puck are… weird. That’s the best I can come up with. He has to stay at the house he shares with Blake Sully. Both he and dad insisted it was for my own safety.
I emailed my boss at the hospital and just told her I wouldn’t be in for the foreseeable future. I’m sure she responded and told me I was fired, but I haven’t checked my emails after that. It’s an out of sight, out of mind thing.
“Nothing seems to be happening,” I tell him. “I don’t understand why I have to stay there with you.”
Today is the first time that I’m out since I basically moved in. I needed a few things, and Becca was coming to the house to hang out with Arlene. Since I am a freak and have been staying away from my best friend, I begged dad to take me with him when he left for the day. Now, we are sitting in his fancy office.
“Well,” he leans back and assess me with his shrewd eyes. It’s as if he can see through me. “I was hoping you’d tell us by now everything that you do know.”
My breath hitches in the back of my throat.
“What… what do you mean?”
Dad doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, just continues to watch me.
“I probably should’ve told you about my life and what I do a lot sooner than now,” he says, taking me by surprise. “I thought it was a good idea to shelter you from everything that would taint your world. Your mother and I agreed on that even before you were born.”
I look down, playing with the napkin I have in my lap. I twist it until it starts shredding, small pieces of it falling in my lap.
“The one thing I did not expect to happen,” dad adds with a gentle voice, “is you lying to my face, especially in a dire situation as this one.”
“Dad,” I cry out, hurt that he would think I’m lying to him. I am only keeping things from him in an effort to protect him and Puck.
“I know you know more than you’re telling me. And my patience has run out.”
I shiver in my seat at hearing those words. He sounds lethal, and I am scared.
The problem is that I’m not sure who I am scared of more. Is it my father? Or is it Bricks, and, by association, Steve?
“Tell me.” Dad slaps his hand hard on the table between us when he says the words, and I jump in my seat.
I swallow, trying to buy myself time, and start talking.
“On that day when Wyatt was here, I couldn’t handle it.”
Dad’s eyes soften, but just for a flash. He is back to his icy self before I can bank on it.
“I felt this sudden need to talk to mom about it.”
I feel ashamed by my behavior. Every single decision I made since all this started has been a bad one.
“That’s understandable,” dad decides to throw me a bone. “I know the news has been stressing you out. I’m sure I could’ve handled everything better with you.”
“I didn’t mean to make you feel bad about it, dad,” I interrupt him. “This is all on me. I got nervous. I don’t even know why I wanted to go talk to mom about it,” I admit. “She and I were never close like that…”
I stop talking and just stare into space for a minute as I try to process how I want to explain everything to him.
“I felt guilty for being happy,” I finally admit, surprising myself with it.
“Happy about what?” Dad’s voice comes out tense now, almost… emotional.
“I love watching you with Arlene.” Tears gather in the corners of my eyes now. “I can tell how much you love her, and she loves you back. I never saw you like this before her. And I love it,” I shrug self-consciously. “I’m sorry I was too much of a wuss to meet Wyatt when I had the chance.”
I lift my eyes to look at dad when he doesn’t say anything. He is just staring at me.
