Page 95 of Lose to Win: Lost Trilogy: Part 3
“I can wait here in the car for you,” Puck gives me a kiss right as I am about to exit the car.
I hesitate for a second. It’s not that I don’t want him here with me, but I feel like I owe it to my mom to have this final time alone with her.
“Thank you, Puck.” I touch his face and push the hair out of his eyes. I will never tire of looking at this man and thanking my lucky stars for sending him into my life.
Once out of the car, I take a moment to look around. The car is parked in the exact spot where I got kidnapped from before. I push the memory out of my mind and walk on the grass, enjoying its plushness under my feet.
“Hi, mom,” I smile at the headstone once I reached my destination. “I’m back.”
I touch the letters that spell out her name, then then words right underneath.Loving wife and mother. A smile makes its way onto my face. Alice Stewart had a kind heart. So many people tried to destroy it and her, but she fought them and, in her own way, she was stronger for it. After all, if it hadn’t been for her strength and resilience, I would not be here today.
“I came to tell you that I’m okay,” I now tell her even though I realize that I am only speaking to a slab of stone. “The last time I came to see you, things got a bit messy. But I have a feeling that, in your own quiet way, you watched over me.”
I look back toward where I left Puck and see him standing outside the car, leaning against it as he watches me with a gentle smile on his face. He looks happy and rested, and I can’t contain all the love I feel in my heart for this man.
I turn back toward my mother’s headstone. “I’m a wife now,” I inform her proudly. “You would love him, mom. Even dad loves him, although he would never admit it in so many words,” I chuckle.
I drop to my knees in the grass and place the small bouquet of spring flowers I brought in the vase she has to the side just for this purpose.
“I’m also going to be a mom.” I bring my hands to my belly, grinning from ear to ear when I feel the baby kicking. “It’s crazy, this feeling of growing a small human being inside my body. I imagine you felt the same when you were pregnant. I will make you a proud grandma,” I promise her. “My children will always know who you were. Thank you for giving me life, mom. I love you.”
I press trembling fingers to my lips before touching the headstone in goodbye. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come back again. Life will get more complicated soon, just in a different way than it’s been lately. It’ll be a good kind of complicated. The kind I am looking forward to.
With one last look, I leave all my grief behind me. It’s time I concentrate on the future. It’s looking damn bright, and I don’t want to miss one second of it.
28
Puck
My dearest Lucas,
When life gives you lemons, you take them and crush them in your enemy’s face. Squeeze that juice into their eyes and make it burn. Don’t let up. You will regret it later if you do.
As I am getting ready to say my final goodbye to you, I wish for a second chance. I hope to get it in my next life. Knowing you all over but with different eyes will be quite the experience, I just know it.
One day, you will have children of your own. You just seem like that type of a person. And you know what? Despite Kenny and all he put you through as a kid, I know you will be a good father to them. You got enough of Blake in you for it to count.
I should end this withLove, Mom. But it wouldn’t feel right at all. So…
Goodbye for now,
Elaine
* * *
Finding the person you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with is not a guarantee. It is a privilege.
I look into Emily’s eyes and know that she is mine until the day I take my last breath. The only issue with that is that there’s no way to know how long any of us would live. God should be clearer and send us here with direct instructions and correct expiration dates. That way you know what to expect.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t want to know when my last day on this earth would be. Instead, I will live and love this woman like every day is my last. Remind her every day how much I love her and how much I appreciate having her in my life.
“What’s up, fucker?”
Dylan bursts into my bubble of melancholy. We are all in Devereaux’s back yard to attend his and Becca’s wedding. It is a small affair, but that’s how they wanted it, and it suits them.
“You looking snazzy in your fancy dress clothes,” he teases me.
I put on dress pants, with a dress button down shirt and shiny shoes. Quite the difference from the jeans and heavy boots I normally wear, and I find that I feel very comfortable in either outfit. I’m a chameleon like that.
