Page 66 of Tattoo My Heart
The cherry on top of everything was when I got home today. My next door neighbor, Gertrude, was out watering her garden, but I swear she looked like she’d been waiting for me to come home. As soon as I pulled into the driveway, she turned the hose off and rushed to get to me.
“Hi, honey.” She was breathing heavy now, all red in the face and looking like she was about to pass out.
“Maybe you should sit down, Gertie.” I grabbed her by the arm and walked her to the small bench I have in my back yard. “What’s the rush anyway?”
She put a finger up for me to wait while she used her other hand to fan herself. I gave her a minute to recover, my curiosity piqued.
“So,” she turned to look at me when she was finally able to breathe normal again. “How are things between you and your young man?”
My face froze in an awkward smile, and it was my turn now to fan myself in distress.
“What young man are we talking about?” Because I refused to just give out information before knowing what she knew.
“Evie, honey,” her mouth dropped in disappointment. “I’ve known you since you were a baby. How can you lie to me like this?”
“Lie?” I chuckled in surprise. “I haven’t even said anything yet,” I pointed out.
Gertrude just waved me off. “That is neither here nor there.”
I just stared and blinked in confusion. She’d been the one who came to me, and I had no idea what we were even talking about. Except for the small thing of her somehow knowing about me and Cal.
“The other morning,” she started, “after you snuck out of the house like a thief in the night…” My face was on fire now. Everything she said was the truth, no point in even denying it. “I came and I chatted with him for a while. And may I just say,” she pressed a hand to her chest and grinned from ear to ear, “very well done, my girl. He is a stud.”
“A stud?” I laughed. “People don’t talk like that anymore, Gertie.”
“Oh,” she frowned in distress. “What do they call them now?” But then she got a grin on her face. “Oh, a hottie,” she pointed at me. “Millie told me that a few weeks ago,” she explained as she referred to my neighbor on the other side. “Her granddaughter taught her that.”
I shook my head in amusement, wondering where she was going with any of that.
“So you met Cal.” I shrugged as if it was nothing, even though it was everything.
Gertrude leaned her head closer to me. “He was naked in your living room. I took a picture.”
“What?” I squeaked in surprise.
She stuck her hand in the large pocket of her gardening apron from where she pulled a cell phone. My heart was beating in my head when she unlocked it, scrolled through a couple of things, then turned it to show me. Sure enough, Cal was standing naked in my living room. And yes, most definitely a stud.
“I think he was looking for you,” she continued. “I was in the front window. I scared the bejesus out of him,” she chortled, making me laugh, too.
“What did he say?”
“Eh,” Gertrude waved off in disappointment. “He covered himself up as soon as he saw me. Like I’d never seen naked men before. Although,” she paused with a thoughtful look on her face. “It’s been a while, now that I think of it. It was a welcome sight, I can tell you that.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back on the bench. “I’m happy to have helped, Gertie. What is the point to all this?”
“The point,” she put a finger up to call for attention, “is that Millie’s sister was at the restaurant the other day. And she heard you and your gal friend chatting.”
I frowned, trying to figure out who she was talking about. “My gal friend?”
“Yeah, the cute one with the baby,” Gertrude explained.
“Oh, Carrie,” I nodded in understanding. “Yeah, so?” I couldn’t tell where she’s going with this.
“I understand you’re having some…” She paused and stared at me, as if she was trying to come up with the right words for what she wanted to tell me. “Issues in the bedroom,” she finally says, looking all concerned.
“Issues in the bedroom?” I just couldn’t fathom what was happening. “What issues in the bedroom?” Not like I was experienced or anything, but, for a recent virgin, I thought I had some skills.
Gertrude sighed and moved closer to me on the bench. “Honey.” She grabbed my hand and petted it softly. “Sometimes, when you are with a man,” she started. I literally felt the hair on my arms raising. “You do things that you never thought you would ever do. Like for example…”
