Page 81 of Puck with Karma
I don’t acknowledge it. Instead, I turn my head to look out the window. The landscape is so different than where I just came from, almost looks like spring is near. It is what I am familiar with because this is where I grew up. And yet, it’s only making me miss all the snow in Minnesota.
The heavy clothes I have on are suffocating me right now. I unzip my coat and pull at the collar of the sweater I am wearing underneath. It feels too warm.
“Are you hot?” Hannah is glancing at me through the rearview mirror, her eyes widening in surprise. “It’s only thirty-four out.”
The corner of my mouth lifts in a smile. “It was two degrees in Minnesota when I left.”
“Sheesh, that’s brutal. How do people there even live?” she wonders out loud. “That’s like igloo weather.”
The car falls quiet again, but Riley never takes her eyes off me.
“Are you okay?”
I swallow hard and give an aggressive nod. “Perfect.”
“It sure sounds like it,” Hannah laughs. “Are we going to play this game all the way to your parents’ house?”
“I’m not playing anything.” I laugh without meaning to. “You two are the ones watching me like hawks. It’s weird.”
Hannah’s never shied away from calling me out on my shit.
“No. What’s weird is the fact that you don’t want to talk about it.”
My chest rises, then falls with the deep breath in I’m taking. I guess I might as well talk, since I’d be doing that at some point anyway.
“I think Xander broke up with me.” It hurts so much to even think the words, let alone say them.
Riley lets out a small gasp of surprise, but Hannah doesn’t have much of a reaction.
“Were you two even together?”
To an untrained ear, her question and tone of voice might come out as cold and uncaring, but I know her. And I know she is only looking for the facts.
“Well, I did tell him that I loved him,” I remind her.
“But he never said it back, correct?”
“No.” I look down at my hands, fidgeting in place. “But last night, he stopped by with flowers. He was telling me how much he cared about me. I’m sure he was leading up to telling me he loved me back.”
Neither of my two friends say a word. The only sound in the car is from the traffic outside. Since that’s not bad at all, we are all just left with the thoughts in our heads.
Riley decides to take the bull by the horns in her always soft voice.
“Why did he break up with you then?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t know! Or, I do, but…” I run my hands through my hair, almost pulling when I feel the edge of one of my extensions. “It feels complicated. I think…”
I pause and allow my brain to go over all the information I have up to this point.
“He’s been questioning me about Brandon,” I tell my friends as I try to piece it all together. “I had him up on my phone or laptop a few times. And he also overheard an argument I had with my mom about him.”
“So?” Hannah shrugs like it’s no big deal. “Are you not allowed to be interested in your brother’s whereabouts?"
“That’s just wrong,” Riley agrees. “What kind of a psychopath is this guy? You’re better off without him!”
I don’t respond right away, mostly because I am now starting to realize how I complicated my life for no reason whatsoever.
“Xander hates Brandon for whatever reason.” My voice sounds a bit shaky. “It’s some team rivalry thing. And the media just feeds the frenzy.”
