Page 41 of Puck Drop
“So you did whatever you thought was good for you,” she assures me once again.
“And now?” My voice comes out barely above a whisper. “I feel like I’m stuck here, Mona,” I cry to my best friend. “I don’t know where I stand with Logan. Yeah, he said he didn’t want us to be a secret anymore, but I just feel so insecure about him now.”
“It’s because he hasn’t said I love you again,” Mona guesses correctly. “How long you’ve been there for now?”
“It’s a little over a month since I moved here. A little less since I told Logan I got a job here.”
“That’s not that long, honey,” Mona tells me, her tone more sympathetic. “What happened in New York was a total mess,wouldn’t you say? But you have to remember that he didn’t tell you to go away. He wants you there, right?”
I pull on a string that’s hanging from the bottom of my shorts in an effort to buy myself some time before I have to answer my best friend’s question.
“He says that he does,” I finally say, just like the other times she asked me that exact thing.
Once again, we find ourselves being quiet. I am truly at a loss when it comes to the current state of my life.
“You really shouldn’t work there anymore if you hate it so much, Liz.”
I let out a chuckle that is full of attitude and sarcasm. “I need this job, Mona. How am I going to support myself? I had no idea how hard it was to actually make rent.”
I sound bitter when I say that last part, then I feel instantly bad about it. I know that Mona didn’t grow up like I did, and she’s been paying rent for a whole lot longer than I have.
“Life is hard, sweetie.”
I cringe a little, but only because she is incredibly understanding about my situation, even though she should be bitter given our different upbringing.
“It’s a lot harder than I thought,” I cry softly. “I really hate this job. I think I want to go home.”
My phone buzzes with a text just as I say the words that break my heart in two. I get out of the phone app and open the texts. A lump forms in the back of my throat when I see that I have a message from the man I literally changed my entire life for.
Logan: I don’t know if you were watching, but I just had 5 minutes in the game!!
I cover my mouth in surprise before my eyes fly to the television screen. Regret fills my every fiber when I realize that I missed Logan’s moment in the game. I start crying instantly.
“Jesus, it can’t be that bad, Liz! Get a hold of yourself, girl,” Mona snaps at me. “I’m looking for plane tickets as we speak,” she continues. “I’m coming there, and you better be ready for me to shake some sense into you.”
“It’s not that,” I manage to say in between sobs. “I’m a terrible girlfriend.”
“What?” Mona yelps in surprise. “How did you come to that conclusion?”
I throw my arm out toward the TV, like she can see me. “I just missed this important moment in his life!”
“Uh, which is?”
If I wasn’t this upset, I’d be laughing at the way Mona asks me that. She is confused and irritated. Her patience for me is at an all-time low.
I bring my face down to wipe it on my shoulder, leaving a wet mark on the white material of my top.
“Lo just texted me to say he was in the game for five minutes,” I wail. “And I missed it!”
“Jesus, give me strength,” Mona murmurs quietly to herself, but I still hear her. “If he is as good of a player as you make him out to be,” she tells me, “then you’ll see plenty of him in the years to come.”
“But this was his first time with the Aces.” I cry harder now. “It was special. I missed it,” I repeat.”
Mona stops trying to reason with me at this point. She lets me have a good cry while staying silent on the other end of the line. It is oddly comforting knowing that I am not alone, and that even though she doesn’t get why I’m so upset, she tries hard to be a good friend to me.
“Why don’t you try to paint a little bit?” she asks when she can tell that I’ve calmed down some. “When you come home from work, instead of sitting there like a bump on a log, worrying about life, paint.”
“I don’t have any of my stuff,” I remind her in a congested tone.
