Page 146 of Until We Burn
“Well, all the more reason you should stay here,” Mama insists. “Now that the scandal is resolved, you can spend more time with your family.”
I scowl.
Duty and expectation above all else is what mama always stood for and she does it well. I bet that’s why bàba chose her as his bride.
I button my coat before I glance at her. “Did you know bàba was testing me this entire time?”
Mama’s face fades into neutrality as it always does when we ask her about bàba and his ways.
“Your father has his duties, and I have mine.”
The tears I’ve been holding back well in my eyes. Mama notices, yet she doesn’t say a word. She stays poised and nonchalant like she has been my entire childhood. I feel like a little girl all over again, just begging her mother to fight for her just once. But I know that day will never come because she doesn’t exist for anyone except bàba.
I turn my head to hide the tears streaming down my face before I leave the mansion to wait for Hans at the front doors. I slump against the wall, shivering under the biting night air that sinks into my bones. My hand reaches for Kai’s coin in my pocket. Imagining his gentle hands and deep, assuring voice breathes warmth into my bones.
It’s gonna take you a while to realize that you have what it takes to cut the strings and become something that you’re proud of without your dad’s approval.
But I don’t have what it takes to cut the strings. Bàba is right. Everything that’s made me what I am—from the style I use to tell my stories, to the kind of sources I track down, even the way I climbed back into my place on the succession plan—is based on what he’s taught me. There’s no Diana Huang without Edward Huang, and there’s no life I can picture without his control killing my hopes.
Terror grips me until I can’t breathe. My knees give out before I collapse on the stairs, crying.
Kai’s coin flashes through the blur.
If bàba ever finds out about us…
I squeeze the coin tight, holding it close to my heart.
If bàba is so willing to break apart his own daughter to reinforce his power and his pride, there’s no telling what he’d do to someone as meaningless to him as Kai.
CHAPTER 58
DIANA
Of all thetimes I’ve stood outside Kai’s door, I never once let myself imagine what the last time would be like.
I close my eyes, fighting to keep the tears back.
This is what’s best for him. He’s worked so hard to rebuild his reputation and play in the NHL. That has always been his dream and I’m not going to give bàba a chance to destroy it.
I swallow hard. With a trembling fist, I reach up and knock on the door.
It’s not long before it finally creaks open.
Kai stands there in his white shirt and plaid blue pajama pants. His tattoo peeks out from the wrinkled sleeves as he rustles a hand through his black hair. He smiles at me, green eyes blinking groggily.
“There you are.”
I fall into him. The door shuts behind us as Kai’s arms wrap around me, holding me tight. Tears well in my eyes when I breathe him in. Night rain and pinewood colors the air, comforting me and breaking my heart all at the same time.
“I’m sorry for asking to come over so late. I know it’s incredibly last minute. I just?—”
“Hey, hey…” Kai strokes my hair before he leans down to kiss my forehead. I shut my eyes, basking in how warm he feels. “I don’t care what time it is, princess. Every last minute I have is yours.”
I smile meekly as I nestle my cheek into his chest. “How does the NCAA feel about that?”
Kai laughs. The sound radiates all over me like sunlight. He then reaches down to cup my face and tilts my head up.
Oh, dear god.
