Page 172 of Until We Burn
“Jesus Christ.Why does my head look fucking massive in these photos?”
Kai and I sit on the roof of his car as we go through all the polaroids in the parking lot of the skating rink. The lights from the rink gleam behind us. They color our box of gingerbread cookies and cups of hot chocolate in shades of red, yellow, blue, and green.
Kai grimaces at one of the polaroids in my hands. Meredith had captured us mid-laugh with our foreheads pressed together while roving stars shone over us.
“Okay, fine, if you don’t like this one then you can have the other one.” I hand him the polaroid by my lap. Suddenly, I gasp.“No.”
“What’s wrong?”
“That devil child photobombed the shot!”
“Where do you—” Kai bursts out laughing the second he sees it.
In the polaroid, we’re kissing under the reindeer glittering above our heads, oblivious to the little girl with the bunny hat sticking her tongue out at us.
“I change my mind,” I grumble. “Idowant you to go back in and get her.”
Kai laughs and hugs me close. Happy tears swell in my eyes when I look at all the polaroids set side by side of us smiling and kissing, hugging and whispering things only we’ll ever know about. I used to read about characters having moments like these in romance novels. Never once did I think I’d ever have a chance to live it myself and yet, a few breakdowns and mental spirals later, here I am.
I pause, my smile fading.
How many more beautiful, wonderful things lie beyond the decisions I’m too afraid to make?
Kai frowns. “What are you thinking about?”
That’s when a tide of courage and determination comes over me.
“I’m going to tell my father the truth tonight.”
Kai looks at me in concern. “Are you sure? I mean, you can take your time, Di. I can wait until you’re ready.”
“No. I can’t keep living under a lie. Especially when there’s something else I’ve always wanted to do.” I swallow hard. The next words on my tongue slip out hesitantly, “I want to start my own media outlet.”
“Di!” Kai kisses my cheek. Excitement flares in his eyes as he glances down at me. “That’s amazing!”
“Sort of.” I did tell Stella, and she vowed to provide me with every connection and resource I needed to get it going. But I still can’t ignore the doubts plaguing my ambitions.
“No, it’s amazing and you should go for it,” he insists. “You can do it. I know you can. I’ve seen the way you lead the Howler.”
“It’s not the same, though.” I wriggle out of his arms and straighten up against the hood of the car. “I love reporting and leading a newsroom. But I’ve never actually built anything by myself. Nearly every opportunity I’ve had was handed to me because of my name. My father knows that. If he finds out about me wanting to run my own media outlet, he’s going to make sure it fails.”
“Hey, hey.” Kai rests his hands around my ankles, coaxing me to face him. When I do, his face is calm, yet fierce with conviction. “Look, you don’t need to deal with him on your own anymore. I’m going to be here for you. Stella is going to be here for you. The boys will be here for you. Someday, things are all going to work out and we’re gonna have a million more dates and a million more photos together.”
I bite my lip, fiddling with the polaroids. “With sparklers, too?”
Kai chuckles and nods. He reaches out to tuck a stray curl behind my ear.
“As many as you want,” he promises.
CHAPTER 68
DIANA
The mansion isquiet when I come back home.
My shoulders sag in relief. That means most of the staff are dismissed and I can tell bàba the truth in private.
My fingers brush over the polaroid of Kai and I that’s tucked into my coat pocket.
