Page 43 of Until We Burn
Fraud. Liar. Fake.
New posts pop out, spewing lie after lie. This is why Rowan made me wipe myself clean on social media after the rumors. I couldn’t stop stalking every page to see what people were saying, to see what I needed to change, fix, and hide to win their respect back. I thought disappearing would make them go quiet.
But it only made them louder.
Without me there to listen to their bullshit, they don’t need to hold back anymore.
@dannyXjals3478 I’m so tired of hearing about this fucker. Idk why we keep him on the ice. He’s a liability. The DHU Griffins are better off without him.
Photoshopped pictures of me inhaling fumes bombard the feed.
@vipersVictor_ We don’t need mutts like him screwing up the roster. Somebody tell KMM to get off the ice and go back to fucking around in the sand.
Their words sink deeper, twisting and warping my senses until I feel like I’m becoming everything they’re saying. I’m not a strong player; I’m a liability. I’m not skilled at all; I’m an inconsistent fraud. The DHU Griffins only keep me around for diversity points, not because they actually need me. Tears swell in my eyes. The words on the screen shudder and blur until I can’t make them out anymore.
“Putain.”
In the corner of my eye, the cursor on my laptop blinks. The Pacific Observer’s communications strategy I was supposed to work on sits there, barely finished. Stress knots inside me, twisting the steady breath out of my lungs.
It’s not due until the middle of October. But on top of hockey practice, showing up for games, attending classes, and working at the Little Griffins Hockey Club, any time I have for the internship is running out faster than I can handle.
Except it’s the only thing Icanhandle right now.
The feed on my screen pings and shifts down, second after second, no matter how much I wish it would all just stop. Chucking my phone onto my bed, I rake my hands through my hair, grabbing the ends as I force my attention back onto my presentation.
I can’t lose Nirah’s faith in me. I can’t let down another fucking person. Not while the entire student body and the NCAA are watching me fumble with the jagged ruins of my reputation during my final year.
Clearing my throat, I read out what I’ve written so far. “After doing a thorough environmental scan on the Pacific Observer in the public eye…”
Fraud. Liar. Fake.
I suck in a deep breath, narrowing my eyes on the words. “There are opportunities through collaborating with…”
They want me to drop you as an intern.
“Focus, Kai. Focus.” I rub my eyes before staring down at the document. The words blur together. When they come back into focus, they’re not persuasive enough. Every sentence is weak and strategically lacking.
We don’t need mutts like him screwing up the roster. Somebody tell KMM to get off the ice and go back to fucking around in the sand.
“Bordel de putain!”I slam my laptop shut and shove myself away from the desk.Bloody fucking hell.
My head is spinning. My heart is hammering so hard it pulses in my ears. I need to get out of my head. Crawl out of my damn skin. Just anything to stopthinking.
I snatch my runners and tug my hoodie off of the hanger.
When I head out into the hallway, I nearly bump into Diana.
Tears streak down her face.
“I-I’ve called Hans to come and pick me up,” Diana stammers. “I’ll be staying at the Fairmont.”
I struggle to get the words out, “W-Why? Did…did something happen?”
“Jonathan and Sophia pinned Gregory’s scandal on me.” Her lips tremble under the weight of her words. “I’m suspended from succession activities indefinitely.”
Diana’s hands brace the wall, drained of the fire that had been burning since the first day I saw her. I should comfort her. Do anything except stand here and stare like a fucking idiot. But I don’t feel capable of comforting at all. Not when my nerves are firing under my skin, vibrating and itching for release.
Stop thinking. You just need to get out and escape.
