Page 9 of Mountain Man's Merry Grumpmas
"What's your story, Drake?" I sit up on my elbow, looking at his sexy rumpled hair. I did that. And I would really love to do it again. Preferably while I ride his face. I swallow hard and ask an easier question. "How'd you end up in my cabin?"
Drake chuckles. "I think you meanmycabin."
I grin, loving his playful side. "Seriously, though. From what I can tell, you haven't always lived in the mountains like a recluse."
He's quiet so long I think he's not going to tell me anything, which is a huge red flag, but then, like a Christmas miracle—
he starts talking.
"Up until March, I worked for Stanley Reed in the city." Drake looks at me, and I raise my eyebrows in surprise. Stanley Reed is a huge multi-billion dollar international consulting firm. It's incredibly prestigious and difficult to get on board there, even for graduates of top MBA programs.
"I was a workaholic. I lived in a beautiful apartment in the city, which was expensive, but I made a significant amount of money and it was close to work." Drake plays with my hair, curling it around his finger while he talks.
"In the spring, I was offered a partnership in the company."
"Holy shit," I breathe out. He was a big deal.
Drake nods and continues twirling my hair around his finger.
"I worked eighty hours a week for over a decade, trying to become partner. And then, I got it. That night, I went home to my empty apartment, with a bottle of expensive scotch and a cupcake that I picked up at the corner store. It was the mostdepressing celebration I could have imagined. I didn't have any friends to meet up with. They're all married and running their kids to activities or putting them to bed at night. No partner, no pets. I didn't even have the time to keep a plant alive, and I just thought, what is the point? Why am I doing all of this?"
I snuggle against Drake, letting him talk.
"I never traveled. But honestly, do I even want to travel? Do I like reading? Should I pick up jogging? I don't know. I was so focused on one goal, but I never questioned why I was hustling so hard for it."
He pulls me against him tightly, and I kiss his chest. "When I got out of college, I had three internships under my belt and five job offers. I took the most prestigious one and never looked back."
I shiver as Drake runs his fingers over the side of my breast, but he doesn't seem to be trying to start up again. He just can't seem to keep his hands off of me.
"My drive was enough to keep me going. But now, I'm well into my mid-30s, and I don't even know who I am. I'm a third of the way through my life, and I haven't even lived it yet. I went into work the next day, turned down the partnership, and gave them a month's notice. Then, I found this cabin online and booked it for the next year while I tried to figure my shit out."
I lift up on my elbow again, and he gazes at me with something that looks a lot like love. My heart soars.
"I purposely picked this location, hoping I could figure out how to make it up to my sister. She married my best friend a few years ago. He's been in love with her since we were kids, and I ruined it for them back then."
He grimaces, a look of guilt and misery crossing his face. "They reconnected and married overnight practically. They have a kid. I'm an uncle, but the shittiest one you could imagine. I've never even met the little guy."
I wrap my arms around Drake and squeeze, my heart hurting for him from the pain I hear in his voice.
"I've headed down the mountain to Duhring Park at least once a month since I've been here thinking I'll just show up to Scarlett and Levi's home, and then, I turn around and head back up the mountain. I'm still not living life, Monroe, and I can't tell you how much I want to change that."
Green flag. I'll take honest over pretty any day. Any man that can reflect on his worst days is someone I can appreciate.
I sit up, my hand on his cheek as I gaze into his eyes. "As someone who has lost family, you don't want to look back on these days and wish you hadn't wasted away the years. Your parents aren't getting any younger, you know, and it seems like you're avoiding them too."
"Who did you lose?" Drake looks at me with the pity that I typically avoid at all costs, but for him, I gaze right back.
"My mom. It's been fourteen years, but some days it feels like it just happened." I lay back down with him, and he pulls me in tight. "I haven't enjoyed Christmas since she died. It used to be our favorite time of year. She made it so incredibly special. I always thought if I had kids someday, I would do the same for them, but now I'm wondering if I'm just broken forever."
And then Drake says the one thing I need to hear from someone: "You are broken, but not ruined."
A tear slips out, and I don't even try to stop it. Sex, unloading my life story, and now crying. I'm definitely not following all the first-date advice, but screw it.
"I started therapy last year. My therapist said it's important to create my own traditions, even if they aren't ones that I thought I might have in the future." I put my hand on his chest, and he holds it in place with his.
"Drake, I think you're brave for making a change. I've worked in finance since I got out of college, going on ten years."
He was honest with me, so I'm going to be honest with him. Even if I'm terrified that my uncertainty about the future will be too much for someone going through the same thing. I take a deep breath, turning my head so I can look at him.
