Page 59 of My Heart's Doctor
“William, can I ask you a question?” Xavier inquired, while we were having a drink at a bar in Manhattan.
“Depends,” I replied, suspecting where the conversation was heading.
“What happened with the doctor? Because I thought you wanted to keep seeing her, well, that’s what you told me anyway.”
I sighed wearily. Just as I suspected. It was clear that even thousands of miles away, I couldn’t stop thinking or talking about that woman who apparently thought I was just a man she should stay away from because, it seemed, I was garbage.
“I wanted to, as you correctly said, but I don’t want to anymore,” I stated.
“Why not?”
“Because she thinks I’m someone who can’t be trusted, she wants nothing to do with me.”
“I see. And you’re going to let her keep thinking that?” he asked.
“And what do you want me to do? She doesn’t even know me and she judged me decisively. She put me in the defendant’s chair and is convinced she doesn’t need any more evidence to condemn me,” I stated.
“If we’re talking about condemnation, I remind you that you’re a lawyer, you bastard,” he stated, challenging me with his gaze.
“In this case, I surrender,” I said, taking a long sip of my drink.
“Then I should believe that you’re not interested either,” he pointed out.
“That might be it,” I said, knowing I wasn’t being honest, but I didn’t feel like talking about her anymore.
“In that case, I feel obligated to ask if you’ll give me the green light to date her.”
My stomach contracted. Imagining them together filled me with irrational anger. I put down my glass and looked at him seriously.
“Xavier, I slept with Devon, don’t you think that would be awkward?” I reasoned, very seriously, but at that moment I wasn’t being honest either because that wasn’t the real reason.
“It might be awkward at first, but then everything will be forgotten. We’re adults and it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve slept with a woman you’ve slept with, or vice versa.”
Sleep with Devon? That was something I wouldn’t allow, under any circumstances.
“I’m not giving you the green light,” I stated, without consideration.
“I don’t see why not. If you don’t want anything to do with her and she doesn’t want anything to do with you, what’s the problem with me trying?” he said, taking a sip of his drink, then looking at me seriously he added, “Let’s agree that I don’t need your approval, I simply did it to let you know my intentions, but...”
“Don’t get involved in this, I’m serious,” I threatened. “You have several women willing to go out with you, why does it have to be Devon?”
“Because I like her too much,” he replied, and what I didn’t like was that he did it without a hint of humor.
Just what I needed!
“Xavier, don’t do it.”
“And what would happen if I did?” he asked, maintaining his seriousness.
“You’ll know me as an enemy, and I’m serious.”
“Does Devon matter that much to you that you’d ruin our friendship?”
“I already told you, Devon only matters to me for fucking her, and the one who would be ruining our friendship would be you if you disregard what I said,” I stated, knowing that she didn’t just inspire desire in me, there was also something else that I wasn’t clear about what it was nor was I willing to find out.
“I see,” he said, irritated, and took a long drink from his glass. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to talk to a girl at the bar who hasn’t stopped looking at me. You should do the same with that brunette on your right who can’t take her eyes off you.”
“I think I’ll head back to the hotel tonight because we have a very early meeting tomorrow and I’m tired,” I said, but in reality what I didn’t have was the mood to hook up with anyone, especially after the conversation I’d had with Xavier. At that moment, laughing and having fun seemed like a luxury I couldn’t afford.
