Page 82 of Taming the Heiress
"All this—" he said, waving his hat.
"All this was inherited," she said. "I never wanted it, never thought to have it. All this was never meant to be mine, but for circumstance. The two heirs died. I was left. I had to leave my home in the Isles to live here, and for years it did not feel like home to me at all."
"Yet it is all yours, and it is an awesome responsibility."
She nodded, sniffling again, and extracted a handkerchief from her sleeve. "I suppose it is," she said. "But I have so many advisers, bankers, accountants, and such a large household staff at each of my homes, that I do not feel the responsibility as keenly as you might think."
"How many homes do you have?" he asked.
"Four. This castle, the Charlotte Square town house, the manse on Caransay, and a modest house near Inverness, as well."
He watched her without answering. He could well imagine that none of the houses were modest.
She touched the journal. "But the silly wee sum is a wonderful thing, and I thank you for it, very deeply."
"You are welcome, madam," he said stiffly. "Well. I must go. I'm on the afternoon train from Edinburgh to Glasgow."
Her eyes grew wide. "You're leaving Edinburgh?"
"Going back to Caransay and Sgeir Caran. I've been gone far too long. The work has continued in my absence, but some matters cannot proceed until I return."
"What of the—the damage from that storm just before we left? There were repairs to be made. I suppose you have heard from Mr. Clarke and Mr. Mackenzie?"
"Aye. They've seen to it all while I've been gone. But certain things have been delayed... through lack of funds. I hope that is sorted out now, but it remains to be seen." He bowed a little, aching inside. "Farewell, then, Lady Strathlin."
She twisted her handkerchief in her hands, and her eyes brimmed again with tears. "Just that? Just farewell?"
"There is little else to say." He watched her, wary of his emotions, fighting to keep temper and desire in check. "Your life here has no room for such as me. I am well aware of that. You have your obligations. So aye, just that. Farewell." He turned and walked toward the door, though his heart fell to his feet, and every instinct in him told him to stay.
"No," she said firmly. "No."
He stopped, did not look back. "I will not be ordered, Lady Strathlin. I have my own life, my own obligations."
"What is it you want?" she asked, her voice breaking. "What would keep you here?"
He closed his eyes, paused. "Nothing you have, my lady. Nothing you own."
"I am not offering you money, if that is what you think. Though if you ever need it, it is yours. Only tell me what you want." A plaintive whisper, those words, filled with need and sorrow. They pulled at him. "Dougal, please."
"Meg MacNeill," he said softly. "I want her. Need her."
She did not answer for a long moment. "But you have no use for Lady Strathlin."
"The baroness, I hear, is engaged to marry a banker." He thought he heard her whimper behind him. He could not look at her, glancing only at her books, her possessions, the evidence of her astonishing wealth. "So I think she could not keep me here."
"Why must you leave?" Her voice quivered.
Hurt,he wanted to say.Pride.But there were other reasons too, layered one upon the other. He did not turn, knowing that if he saw her, he would want only to pull her hard into his arms. All his pride, all his resistance, would wash away for the chance of one touch. He felt too much pain to allow that surrender.
"For freedom, I suppose," he murmured. "I like wanderlust too well, and risk. I like my pride as it is, I think. Good day, madam." He stepped toward the door.
As he reached out for the door handle, something struck him between the shoulder blades. He looked down.
A narrow leather boot lay on the floor, its side buttons loosened. Before he could look up, another boot hit him square in the hip. He whirled.
Chapter 21
She sat in a chair, having worked off her boots to fling them at him. Now she slid off her silk stockings, hastily rolling them down her legs, pushing up the embroidered hems of her knickers to get at the garters. The silk hosiery flew outward and floated down to the carpet.
