Page 1 of Holiday Star
Prologue
OHMYGOD! There he is,” Jenny whispers in a high-pitched squeal, her hand on my arm, nails digging into my skin. I don’t even bother to lift my gaze from my plate. I know who she’s referring to.Caleb Lawson. He’s theonlything she’s been talking about tonight.
“I can’t believe he’s your cousin now.” She rips a dinner roll in half, smears it with butter, and shoves it into her mouth, all without taking her eyes off the man across the room.
“He’snotmy cousin.” I’m exasperated because we’ve had this conversation at least a dozen times. She’s mostly kidding, but honestly, I’m tired of her bringing it up. “He’s the son of my stepfather’s sister.”
Mynewstepfather.
I search through the crowded ballroom until I find my mother in her long white dress. She’s beautiful, flowers woven into her hair, diamond earrings, an early wedding gift from her husband, dangling from her ears. Talking with some distant relatives, she waves her expressive hands.
As I watch, my new stepdad, Seth, comes up behind her. He winds an arm around her waist and joins the conversation. Mom leans into him, relaxing into that embrace like it’s the most natural thing. She’s happy today, on her wedding day.
I’m happy for her, too.
I’m just sad for me.
Which is a bad feeling, a selfish one. My dad passed away almost nine years ago, and Mom had waited alongtime before she dated. She waited until my older brother and I had moved out and my younger brother was a senior in high school, applying for college.
Once she finally started dating, she met Seth pretty quickly. When Mom knew she could have a future with him, she spoke to each of us individually, asking for our permission before they got serious.
It shouldn’t bother me when Seth takes her hand and leads her out onto the dance floor. She deserves it, to be loved once again. I know this. I believe it wholeheartedly.
But, much to my dismay, it does bother me. Because all I can see is my father spinning her around our living room, dancing in the colorful glow of the Christmas tree. The sound of their laughter and how they stared into each other’s eyes as if no one else existed.
I have to remind myselfthatis a memory, andthisis reality.
Looking away from the dance floor, I take in the understated cream-colored ballroom. Simple flower arrangements of white roses and lilies sit on tables that are ringed by slip-covered chairs. Crystal chandeliers cast a warm glow over the guests as they chat and mingle.
Out of the window, it’s a picture-perfect Santa Monica day. The Pacific Ocean glistens with white-capped waves. Surfers balance, arms outstretched, only to topple into the water as the swell they ride crashes into the sand.
Mom lets out a tinkling laugh, drawing my attention back to her. I watch as Seth twirls her around the dance floor, causing her white wedding dress to flare out into a bell shape.
I have a dress like that, too. It’s in a garment bag, shoved deep into the back of my closet. Never worn.
“Do you think it’s possible to be equal parts happy and sad at the same time?” I ask Jenny, fiddling with the place card in front of me. It has my name on it, in swooping cursive script.
Dr. Gwen Wright.
Before Jenny can answer, my older brother, Brandon, comes over. “You’re up,” he tells me. I rise and follow him to the raised dais in the center of the room, where a microphone sits on a stand, waiting for me.
Mom and Seth have finished their dance and taken their seats at the long, narrow table reserved for the wedding party. I glance over, and Mom gives me an encouraging smile.
Anxious, I rearrange the wide skirts of my lacy, blue bridesmaid dress. Next to me, Brandon taps a fork against a crystal goblet. The loud ringing sound echoes through the room, drawing everyone’s attention. Brandon hands me the microphone and takes a step back, leaving me alone in the spotlight, a place that feels unfamiliar. Insecurity batters at me, chipping away at the confidence I’ve built over the years.
When I look into the crowd, my gaze snags on my younger brother Teddy, who sits two tables down with his suit jacket off and his tie askew. He gives me a cheesy thumbs up, trying to bolster my spirits. I send a shaky smile back.
After I clear my throat, I say, “Hello, everyone.” The microphone lets out a high-pitched hiss of feedback. I readjust it and begin again, sounding unnaturally loud. “I’m Gwen, the daughter of the bride and also the maid of honor. Thank you all for joining my family and me today as we celebrate the marriage of my mother, Melinda, and Seth.
“As most of you already know, I have the best mother in the world. She puts her children first. Whether it was staying up late to help us finish a project for school or cuddling with us on the couch when we were sick, Mom was always there for us.”
I pause, swallowing down the knot in my throat, anxious about the next part. I hadn’t been sure how to address my father’s death from colon cancer in this toast. If I should ignore it because it’s too morbid or mention it as a way to honor him and to acknowledge all the hardships my family went through after he died. In the end, I included him. I still think of my dad every day and to leave him out had felt like a betrayal.
“After my father passed away, I worried that as much as she cared for us, my mom also needed someone to care for her. When she met Seth and fell in love with him, I knew I didn’t have to be anxious about that any longer. She had found someone she could share her life with. Someone who loves her as much as she loves us.”
I smile at Seth, my lips tight, and raise my glass to him.
He nods back at me, smiling pleasantly.
