Page 6 of Holiday Star
“It’s all right, Mom. No big deal.”
“Itisa big deal. I want this house to be like home to you, Gwen. I want you always to feel welcome here.”
I nod, unable to tell her that there is only one house I’ll ever consider myrealhome. It’s the one that I grew up in. The one we had to sell in those dark days after my dad passed away.
In the kitchen now, Mom places her phone on the counter, leaning it against the wall, then steps back so I have a view of the entire room.
The kitchen has white cabinets surrounding a large island. A round table is off to the side, occupied by a partially finished jigsaw puzzle. It’s a family tradition. We complete a new puzzle over each holiday break. From what I can see of it, this one looks like a complicated ocean scene, with lots of blue pieces scattered around.
The house is open concept. The kitchen flows into the family room, where a plush sofa, dusted with dog hair, sits in front of the TV.
My younger brother, Teddy, is sprawled out on the couch watching football.
“Hey, Teddy Bear,” I call out over the phone and get back a grunt. He’s in his freshman year at the University of Michigan, where he works as an RA in the dorms.
Marjorie and Ben sit in chairs next to the couch. They call out a chorus of hellos, which I answer back. Seeing Marjorie stirs an unpleasant sensation in my stomach. I remember how smug she looked the last time I saw her, sitting next to Caleb at the wedding.
My stepdad, Seth, walks into the kitchen. It’s been six months since he married my mom, but whenever I see him, I get that old twinge of resentment. It’s not fair to him. He’s a great guy, but his presence is a constant reminder that life has changed in ways I still can’t accept.
Mom worries about us and our lack of bonding. I can tell. When I came home for a short visit in August, she arranged little tasks for Seth and me to complete, like she’s in HR and we’re two employees whom she needs to work together. No matter what team-building activities she threw at us, we couldn’t move past the stage of forced conversation.
Liv, my pretty sister-in-law, who I adore, is in the kitchen checking on something in the oven. My seven-year-old twin nieces, Brandon’s and Liv’s kids, Maddie and Megan, run through the house shrieking.
Seeing them all together makes me even more lonely. I wish I was there with them. I know exactly how the evening will go. Later tonight they will have Thanksgiving dinner, turkey paired with the quiet conversation of the adults as they catch up with each other. Dinner rolls eaten until there’s only one remaining, which the twins will fight over. Left-over stuffing scraped into the dog bowl. After they finish eating, they’ll work on the puzzle.
I’m going to miss out on all of it. The dinner. The puzzle. The warm hugs from my nieces and slobbery dog kisses.
It’s okay, though. I’m flying home tomorrow. I won’t see most of the family. They will all leave to go back to school and work, but at least I’ll spend time with Mom and Seth. And everyone will be back together in just a month when we celebrate Christmas.
The pager at my hip vibrates at the same time that my phone, sitting on the table in front of me, pings. I check the messages.
“Hey, guys?” I say to my family. “I have to go in a minute. They need me back in the ER.”
With my phone in my hands, I stand up and pull on my long white lab coat, its pockets gapping open, weighed down with my stethoscope, pens, and notebooks.
Mom comes into view, bending closer. There’s worry in her brown eyes, a tightening around her mouth that I know all too well.
“Mom? What’s going on?”
My stepfather walks up behind, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. She glances back at him. A look passes between Seth and my mom. A silent conversation is occurring, only understood by the two of them. She presses her lips together, clearly apprehensive.
“I need to talk to you about something, honey,” she says hesitantly. “Seth and I…we’ll be moving to Japan for a little while.”
“Japan?” I echo, reaching out blindly for a chair and falling into it.
“Seth has an amazing opportunity to head up a department there. They’re doing some cutting-edge software development, and it’s a big honor to be a part of it. We just found out about it a few days ago. I wanted to make sure it was really going to happen before I told you.”
“You’re moving?” The room is closing in around me.
“It won’t be a permanent move. We’ll keep this house and rent it out once the renovations are done. They think Seth’s project could take one to two years. Then we would come back.” Each word comes out faster and faster as Mom tries to explain.
“What about your job? What about us?” I think of my brothers and myself. The sting of betrayal hits when I see Brandon and Teddy in the living room staring at me with sympathy. They don’t seem surprised by this news, which means they already knew. Why was I the last to find out?
Mom comes closer to the screen, blotting out the rest of my family. In her best soothing voice, she says. “They have an international school there. They’ve been searching for a math teacher like me. When we reached out, they were ecstatic. I’ve already got a job lined up.”
Mom places her hand on top of Seth’s and smiles at him. A look so intimate it makes me glance away. Her voice is choked, full of emotion. “It’s almost like fate, how easily everything fell into place.”
She sends a fond gaze to my brothers. “As for you kids, you don’t really need me here anymore.”
