Page 44 of Holiday Star
“That’s okay. I’ll help.” He puts the plug in the drain, turns the hot water on, and adds a squirt of dish soap.
“Are you sure that’s the right soap?” I taunt.
Caleb mock frowns and flicks a soapy finger at me, tiny water droplets landing on my dress. I splash him back, and we both laugh.
It’s a double sink. Once Caleb’s side is filled with bubbly soapy water, we fill my side with clean water. He scrubs the dirty dishes, then hands them to me for rinsing and drying. We’re quiet as we work, finding a natural rhythm with each other. Every time he finishes a dish, my hand is there outstretched, waiting to take it.
When we’re done, Caleb turns to me. “So?” His voice carries a note of uncertainty. “What do you want to do now?”
Kiss you.
That’s what my brain supplies, but my mouth is smart enough to say, “I don’t know. Watch a movie? We could watch one of yours?”
A firm shake of his head. “Ihatewatching my own movies. It feels weird, like seeing my ghost. Plus, I spend the whole time analyzing it. Thinking about how I should have delivered the line differently, how I could have made it better.”
A beat of silence, then he says, “I know. Let’s watch a horror movie. You pick it out. The one you like best.”
After a moment of debate, I chooseThe Shining,which I’ve seen many times before. We turn off the lights. Caleb and I settle next to each other on the couch. Pip curls against Caleb on the side opposite of me. The movie begins with the iconic aerial shots of a car winding through the forest on its way to the haunted Overlook hotel.
I watch Caleb out of the corner of my eye. The flickering light from the TV screen plays over his features, highlighting those long eyelashes and sharp cheekbones. His cinnamon scent layers around me.
Like some inexperienced teenager, I shift and yawn, trying to subtly scoot closer to him.
He notices, but not in the way I intended. “Are you tired?” he asks. “We can finish this movie tomorrow.”
“No!” I say, a bit too forcibly. “No. That’s okay. I’m awake.”
God, I’m awful at this. How is it that I can set a broken femur but am unable to make a move on a man I like?
I hold still after that, trying to watch the film but unable to concentrate, too distracted by Caleb next to me. The longer the movie goes on, the louder my insecurities become.
It’s been an entire day, and he hasn’t touched me. Sure, there were times it seemed like he was flirting, but what if I misinterpreted those? Was he just being friendly? The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that he must regret last night. Otherwise, he would have kissed me again by now.
Perhaps, after seeing how upset I was over Jax, he had kissed me out of pity. Or maybe he was tired of kissing the most beautiful actresses in the world. Maybe he had been curious about what it was like to kiss an “ordinary person” and once that curiosity was satisfied, he had no reason to do it again. Or maybe, I realize, my stomach sinking, maybe I’m a really,reallybad kisser.
By the end of the movie, I’m convinced that Caleb thinks of me as just a friend and wishes he had a time machine to go back and unkiss me. He turns on the light next to the couch, and I stumble to my feet, my face flaming.
He notices that something’s off right away. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. I’m fine. Just tired. I’m going to bed.”
I start to brush past a wide-eyed Caleb, but he steps in front of me, blocking my path. We’re close, standing chest to chest. One deep inhale and my breasts would push into him. I look down at the floor, feeling timid.
“Hey,” he says softly.
Slowly, my gaze rises to his.
His serious aqua eyes search my face, looking for I don’t know what. Slowly, his hand comes up, like he might caress my cheek. I lean toward that touch, rise onto my toes to be closer to it. My body pulls tight, filled with need.
I’m an arrow, notched in his bow. He just has to release me, and I’ll fly to him.
After a long, heavy pause, his hand drops down to his side. I sink back onto my heels, and we break eye contact.
Caleb’s voice is rough. “Well, goodnight, I guess.”
There’s a tightening behind my eyes like I might cry. “Goodnight,” I choke out and spin away.
The whole time I go up the stairs, I’m hoping he’ll stop me.
