Page 49 of Holiday Star
There’s a hurt silence from her end of the phone, followed by a stiff cough. “Someday,” she says, “you’ll have kids of your own. When you do, you’ll realize that no matter how old they are, you’ll always worry about them, want to help them.”
A spasm of guilt clenches in my belly because she’s right. I never really want her to stop worrying about me and caring for me, and she has helped me. I remember after Dad died, when things were bad, how she sent me to a therapist. I remember all the times she held me when I cried, after Dad and after Jax. How her own tears had mingled with mine.
Mom’s voice has become more gravelly over time. It’s a terrible moment to notice it, but she sounds older. It surprises me, that telltale mark of age. I still think of her as the young mom who picked me up from elementary school, but she’s not that person anymore.
She’s a grandmother now.
The thought of her aging frightens me. I’ve already lost one parent. As defensive as I feel in this moment, I can’t stand the knowledge that someday I’ll lose her too. I take my anger and turn down the heat, reducing it to a low simmer of regret and resentment.
My mind goes eerily silent when she adds, “Your brother told me another thing. About Caleb.”
Teddy. You little tattletale.
She’s waiting for me to say something, but I have no idea how much she knows, so I stay quiet.
A disappointed huff from her. “Is it true that he’s living with you?”
“Yes,” I answer her honestly. “Caleb’s been here for a while. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. He’s hiding out. Doesn’t want anyone to know.”
“Caleb tells you to lie to your own mother and you just do it? Really, Gwen. I raised you better than that.” Suspiciously, she asks, “Is this because you resent me for moving to Japan? Are you lying as a way to punish me?” She’s angry and, even worse, hurt.
“What? No! That’s not it at all.” Guilt mixes in with all of my other bad feelings. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to worry about me.”
“Like I just told you, I’m your mother. I’ll always worry about you. It’s my job.” There’s quiet on the phone for a long minute. “How’s he been? Caleb? Is he being kind? Respectful? Seth says that we can trust him with you, but he doesn’t understand what it’s like to have a daughter.”
“Caleb’s fine Mom. He’s nice and cooks all my meals. He’s a talented chef.”
I stop, thinking about my brother and how he ratted me out. “Teddy told you Caleb’s here?”
“Don’t be mad at Teddy. He had just told me he wants to quit school. I was yelling at him, and he blurted your secret out in a moment of panic. He felt bad. Tried to take it back, but I can always tell when he’s lying.”
She adds, “Seth was in on that phone call, too. He told Marjorie where Caleb was. He thought she had a right to know.”
Uh-oh. I glance at the door, almost expecting to see Marjorie there, about to break it down. No one stands on our front step, though.
Mom’s still talking. “I prefer that you don’t get too close to Caleb.”
Um, too late for that. My stomach clenches low as I flashback to less than an hour ago, when Caleb was moving deep inside me. The man is an absolute wizard in the bedroom, making my wildest fantasies come true….not what I should be thinking about right now.
Dragging my mind out of the gutter, I keep my tone neutral. “Oh yeah? Why’s that?”
I can practically hear her fidget through the phone. “It’s not my place to tell you the details, but he’s had some…problems. Things I don’t want you involved in—”
Before she can say anything else, I interrupt. “What problems? You mean his drinking?”
She halts mid-sentence, clearly thrown off guard that I know. “Yes, mostly that, but also some other stuff.”
I want so badly to ask about the other things, but she’ll see that as a sign of weakness and use it as a wedge to split Caleb and me apart.
“He’s stopped drinking. Hasn’t done it in months. He hasn’t had a single drink since he’s been here.” Pip brushes against my leg. I scratch her ears.
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Mom says reluctantly.
I wait for her to go on.
Mom hesitates, debating something. “When Seth called Marjorie, she already knew that Caleb was staying with you.”
Shocked, I sit down heavily on the couch. “She did? How?”
