Page 91 of Paging Dr. Hart
“No, it’s not. I would be devastated if you did that to me.” My fingers curl into fists that lie useless against his collarbones.
Ethan cups my cheek, brushing his thumbs lightly under my puffy eyes. “It’s just that I want to know all of you, every little thing. I had hoped you would tell me your secrets not because youhadto, but because youwantedto. When I found out that you hadn’t, it hurt.”
“I wanted to tell you, but I thought if you knew I would lose you.” My voice trembles as my hands unfurl and press against his chest, seeking the solace of his heartbeat.
“You won’t lose me. Remember? You’re stuck with me.” He gives me a small smile, tinged with sadness. “I should be the one apologizing, Tiffy. You needed me tonight, but I’ve been too busy nursing my upset feelings. I forgot that you have wounds that need healing too.”
I shake my head, unable to believe I’m forgiven.
He leans forward and places a soft kiss on my forehead. “You’ve accepted me for who I am, all the good and all the bad. Now, let me do the same for you.”
I gather my courage. “I love you, Ethan. So, so much.”
Of all his many smiles, this is the biggest, the most brilliant.
“You know,” he says, his smile fading into a serious look, “sometimes good people do bad things. I think the person you need forgiveness from the most isn’t me. I think it’syou. You need to forgive yourself.”
His words make me cry even harder because he’s right. All the self-loathing. All the blame I’ve carried. It’s held me back from the life I want. A life full of love and acceptance. The same emotions I see in Ethan’s eyes. His love for me shines there, so brightly. Sniffling, I nod my head, agreeing with him.
“I love you, Tiffy. Nothing can change that.” He bends his lips to mine. The kiss starts out slowly but builds to red-hot quickly. Hands on the nape of my neck, Ethan crushes his mouth against me. It’s demanding, territorial. Allhis earlier fear pours into me, like he needs this physical connection to verify that I really am here with him. That he didn’t lose me to Rafe or to the explosion. He needs the reassurance of my mouth, my touch. My body answers Ethan’s need. I give myself up to him, returning his kiss with equal fervor.
His hands move down to my sides and, with one quick motion, he peels off the shorts I’m wearing. The ones I bought in the gift shop downstairs after we checked in because my old clothing was too filthy. My panties are revealed. When he sees that it’s the pink ones with the cheetah print, he murmurs, “finally,” and rubs his hand over the silky fabric. I remember how I had put the underwear on for him this morning, knowing it was his favorite. It seems like a million years ago that I had gotten dressed in my Orlando hotel bathroom. So much has happened since then.
There are too many layers of clothing between us. Quickly, we undress. I run my hands over Ethan, loving the way light plays off all his hard ridges and planes. Dipping my fingers down below his belly button makes him groan. With his knee, Ethan spreads my knees apart so he can lie between them. He kisses me deeply. It’s like lighting a spark. Heat ignites as he rubs his body against mine. I arch my pelvis up to meet him with a rasping moan.
He trails kisses down my neck, across my breast, down my belly, and finally directly between my legs. It’s too intimate with him down there. I squirm, suddenly shy. He holds my hips firmly, pinning me until I still. Once I’m able to settle down and relax, Ethan fully lowers his mouth to my sex and gives it a long, delicious lick, ending at the bundle of nerves in the front. Staying there, he sucks and licks until I’m withering. I lean my head back against the pillow, my mouth falling open as I gasp for breath.
I’m already wet so his long fingers can easily plunge into my core and synchronize with the timing of his mouth moving over me. He strokes me from the inside, hitting areas so sensitive that it drives all rational thought from my mind. He touches places I didn’t even know existed. Lost in an ocean of pure sensation, I rock my pelvis against his mouth. It’s sweet bliss, the way his tongue and lips take me in, worshipping me. The repetition of his movements sends me closer and closer to release.
Ethan cocks a finger inside of me with a coordinated flick of his tongue,and I orgasm so hard my pelvis lifts off the bed. Head thrown back, I shout out his name as the waves of climax roll over me, the ripples of ecstasy coming so quickly that they overlap. My body becomes one big live wire with electricity jolting through every fiber. While the aftershocks leave me trembling, Ethan climbs back up me and lays down with his head on the pillow next to mine.
“Holy shit, Ethan. What was that?” My mind is sluggish, emptied from the force of my orgasm.
The answering echo of his laugh tickles against my ear. “Did you like it?” he asks. I know without looking that he’s smirking.
“Mmmm. Yes. Nice,” I murmur, too dazed to elaborate. With my eyes closed, I seize hold of Ethan and run my hand over his erection. “Your turn.”
He pushes my hand away. “It’s okay. Time for that later.”
“I don’t mind.” I stifle a yawn.
“See, you’re tired.” He points at my yawn, which I try to hide behind my hand. He pulls my head onto his shoulder and slings a leg over my thigh, tucking my body into his.
I’m still protesting weakly, but I’m too sleepy to put any weight behind my words. The sheets are cool, and Ethan’s body is warm.
An idea has been simmering in my mind. “Ethan?”
“Hmm?” he asks sleepily.
“Can we stay here one more day? There’s something I need to do.”
His hands are in my hair, slowly running his fingers through the length of it. “Sure.”
Exhausted, we drift off together. My dreams feature an always smiling man with warm amber eyes. Happy dreams, full of abstract colors and ideas I won’t remember in the morning.
73
It isn’t hard to locate Stewart. A few minutes on Google and I learn he’s still at the Luxor, only now he’s risen to become the Chief Director of Operations, which is a fancy way of saying that he runs the whole casino. His professional title surprises me. I can’t picture the awkward introvert I remember as the boss of so many people. That job would take an awful lot of handshaking and elbow-rubbing.
