Page 62 of Holiday Love
Helen clutches the sheet next to me, crushing it in her fist. “Do you remember when you were teaching me about the surfboard? When you explained how it works?”
“Yeah?” I say, confused how a test and a surfboard could possibly relate to each other.
“You were explaining physics to me. Flow dynamics. Do you realize that?”
I scoff. “I was not. I was just telling you how the design of the board affects how it flows through the water…” I trail off.
“And?” she prompts.
“And that’s the same thing as flow dynamics?” I end lamely, wrinkling my brow.
A decisive nod from her. “Yes. See? You can learn if you apply yourself.”
“I just know that stuff because I love to surf. I don’t love,” I snatch the phone from her hands and read, “math and verbal reasoning. That’s what’s on this test.” The phone falls to the bed.
“But you can learn if you want to. If it’s what gets you out on the ocean every day. Wouldn’t you love that?” Her voice drops and becomes a soft purr like she’s hypnotizing me. “Just think, Teddy. The wind in your hair. The crash of the waves. Seagulls flying overhead.”
“Sam,” I mumble, thinking of my bird friend.
“Who’s Sam?”
“Never mind. Keep going.” My eyes slide closed, and I smile, imagining myself out in the open water. Helping people. Making a difference. Being a hero.
A soft chuckle from Helen and the sound of her laying back down. The mattress dips as she scoots close enough that her breath tickles my ear.
“The sky is blue. You’re out with your crew, a team. You love being with other people.”
“I really do.”
“Someone’s in trouble, and you’re their only hope,” she whispers. “You can save them.”
I think back to that boat Jamie, Anthony, and I watched. How powerless I felt on the balcony. How I identified with the vessel as it was flung back and forth by the current. That’s been me, passively tossed around by the turbulent events in my life, like when my dad died, but what if Iwasn’thelpless? What ifIwas in control? What if I wasn’t the one who needed rescuing but, instead, I was therescuer?
“Do you like that idea, Teddy? Of you in a Coast Guard uniform?” She’s weaving a spell, conjuring a world where I’m proud of myself, where I float instead of flounder. A future where I’m good enough to stand by her side.
“I like it,” I sigh out, drowsy so now my defenses topple like dominos with each slow breath. “I want that, but I don’t know how to get it.” With effort I crack one eye open, to find her inches away, her beautiful brown eyes trained on my face like she can see right through me. “I’m serious, Helen. I’m not good at tests.”
“Lucky for you, I’m really,reallygood at them,” she says, not breaking eye contact with me. A small burst of relief. That kiss threw us off balance for a minute, but this—this feels like us again. It’s that familiar shift, the quiet click of us falling into sync. The rhythm we’ve developed back in the condo, where understanding hums between us without needing to say much.
“I’m going to offer you a deal. A trade,” she says, with a determined expression.
“I’m listening.”
“You teach me how to talk to people, how to surf, and I’ll help you study for this test.”
“Why would you do that?” I ask.
A long pause and Helen says, “Because I’m your…friend. That’s what friends do.”
The kiss comes back to me. Longing and lust.
Friend. I’ve never hated a word more.
Helen rushes on to say, “I was a tutor all through school. I can do this, Teddy. I promise I can get you that score.”
I push disappointment aside and focus on my future. The one with the Coast Guard. The one that doesn’t include Helen. The edges of my vision blur, and sleep rushes in like a warm, heavy tide.
“Really? You promise,” I ask, believing her because I may take the easy way out sometimes, but Helenneverdoes.
