Page 85 of Holiday Love
I swallow. “That a good thing?”
She doesn’t answer right away. Just leans up and kisses me again, her tongue on mine, stroking against my tongue piercing. “It’s a dangerous thing.”
I trail my lips down the curve of her neck, across her collarbone, and lower, until she’s trembling under me. When I take her breast into my mouth, Helen moans my name. She threads her fingers into my hair, her nails gently scraping over my scalp. I want to take her right then but remind myself to go slow. To ease into it. I want this to be good. A night she never forgets.
I stimulate her with my hand, timing the movement to the stroke of my tongue on her breast, and she undulates beneath me, quickly catching onto the pace I set. Once she’s gasping, I gently ease a finger into her and swirl it around. She mumbles incoherently, little phrases of praise andpleasure spilling past her lips. I curl my finger just right, and when she gasps, whispering, “That feels good, right there,” I grin against her skin, drunk on the sound of her. All breathy and sensual, far removed from the logical, analytical woman I’ve caught glimpses of throughout the evening.
“Hang on.” I tear open a condom I grab from my wallet, my hands quick but my eyes still glued to her body. She’s gorgeous, almost too pretty to be real. Tan skin against white sheets, glossy dark hair fanned across the pillow. Her small breasts fit perfectly in my palms, and her long neck tapers to the delicate point of her chin.
Condom on, I kiss her softly before settling between her thighs. I’m about to ask again if this is what she wants, but Helen doesn’t give me the chance. Her hands are on me, guiding, urging, her touch leaving no room for doubt.
I push in slowly, every muscle in me taut with restraint, and then I’m lost. She’s warm and tight, wrapping around me so perfectly I can hardly breathe. I sink all the way in and pause, needing a beat just to feel her, to take in the way she arches beneath me, the way she’s holding her breath like there’s a spell being cast around us and she doesn’t want to break it.
I raise my head and find her mouth, and she kisses me back hungry, certain. Once I’ve kissed her breathless, I finally let myself move. Bracing on my elbows, I rock into her, slow at first, savoring every inch of the way she grips me. Her soft moans spur me on, and soon I find a rhythm, deeper, stronger, until every thrust has her clinging tighter. I slide my hand between us, circling where I know she aches for me. Helen cries out, her body trembling, so close I can feel the way she flutters around me.
“Come for me, Helen,” I murmur against her ear, not a command but a plea. She breaks apart with a cry, nails digging into my back as dawn breaks, the light spilling across the room, catchingher flushed skin, her beautiful face. The sight nearly undoes me.
God, I love this. Love the way she feels, the way she tastes, the way her brilliant mind works.
I pull out, still hard and hungry for her. “Turn over, Hellcat,” I rasp, kissing the curve of her shoulder as she shifts for me. “I’m not close to being done with you.”
She moves sluggishly, pliant, trusting, and when I slide back inside from this new position, the pleasure of it nearly wrecks me. I grit my teeth, determined to make this last as long as I can, because this night won’t be enough. Not when it’s like this. Tomorrow, after I’ve given her all the pleasure I have in me, I’ll talk to her. Tell her how I feel. Even though she’s too good for me, I’m going to ask, heck beg, her to date me once we get back to California because I have a feeling about her.
That she’s different. Special. Someone I should hold onto for more than one night.
Chapter thirty-seven
Helen
Just listen.
Pretend you’re talking to me.
Don’t worry if you mess up.
Teddy’s last-minute advice rings in my ears as I push open the glass door to the dance studio, stepping from the cool, breezy night into the warm, almost humid air inside. He gave me a full-on pep talk before I left, complete with backup commentary from Jamie, who’s currently camped out in my living room, studying with Teddy for the Coast Guard exam. Even though I’ve helped Teddy prepare for the exam every day since he decided to apply, guiltstirs in my chest for walking out on him tonight, but he insisted. Said my goals matter just as much as his.
So here I am, standing in the studio lobby with my heart racing. This time, my focus isn’t choreography. It’s Lindsey. Try to have arealconversation. Make a real friend. Teddy’s right. I spend so much time chasing perfection, trying to control every variable, that it paralyzes me and stops me from being the person I want to be.
The Helen from a year ago danced with abandon at Gwen’s wedding. She kissed Teddy in the middle of Times Square without a second thought. She told him exactly what she wanted in the bedroom.
That’sthe version of me I’m reaching for. A woman who’s confident. Unafraid. Someone who doesn’t shrink herself to fit in, only to disappear.No. I want to expand. To take up the spaceIdeserve.
If Teddy can change—become more responsible, more focused, more driven—maybe I can too.
Even though I’m early, all the other dancers are already here. I spot Lindsey over by the mirror, stretching her calves while scrolling on her phone. Her ponytail swishes like it’s already dancing. She’s cool and confident and, unlike me, clearly not rehearsing how to say hi a hundred different ways in her head.
Usually, I take my place at the end of the row, as far away from her as possible, but this time I head straight for her. Walking stiffly like my knees forgot how to bend. She’s next to Milton, the only guy in our group. He gives an annoyed huff when I gesture for him to scoot back and then wedge myself between them like I belong there.
My mouth opens, and, for a second, nothing comes out. In a burst of panic, I say an overly loud, “Hello, Lindsey.”
Her head pops up, and her eyes widen. She’s so surprised that she fumbles her phone, almost dropping it. “Oh! Hi, Dr. Chu.”
Dr. Chu.
She’s going to ask about my suspension.
She’s going to tell the rest of the class what I did.
