Page 62 of Marrying the Accidental Groom
“Now,” he said, meeting her gaze without flinching, “I’m asking you to stay. Not because you have to. Because I think you want this as much as I do. But you’re scared it’s going to blow up like every other time you’ve trusted someone.”
She gave a shaky laugh that didn’t match the glassiness in her eyes. “You don’t know what you’re asking, Gideon.”
“Sure I do. I’m asking you to stop hiding behind lists and plans and just tell me. Do you want me too?”
The air between them was so still he could hear his own heartbeat, and for a moment, he thought she’d bolt. But then she whispered, “Yes.” His heart leapt in victory before she continued, “And that’s exactly the problem.”
And with those words, his hopeful heart crashed like a sky diver with a faulty parachute.
23
JULIANA
“That’s exactly the problem?” Gideon’s voice cut through the crisp air, pulling her focus from the jagged red cliffs ahead. Her mare sidestepped a patch of ice, and she tightened her grip on the reins like she could hold onto something steady to counterbalance the mess of her thoughts. “Explain how us both having feelings for each other is a problem before I lose my mind trying to figure it out.”
If only he knew she’d already been on the brink of losing hers. She kept her eyes trained on the winding trail, because looking at him would’ve been her undoing. “Because wanting you means staying,” she said, each word tasting like confession. “And staying means risking that this...us...could fall apart. I’ve done that before. I don’t bounce back from it like you do.”
He exhaled, slow and heavy, as if her words had weight. “You think I would bounce back? You think I’m just—what? Some guy who shrugs it off and moves on to the next pretty face?”
That stung. Not because she thought it was true, but because part of her feared it was. Her lips pressed into a line. “I think you’re built for change. I’m not.”
His answer came rougher, firmer. “No. I’m built for you. I didn’t ask God for a challenge, or someone to make me rearrange every piece of my life...but He handed me you anyway. And I’m done pretending I don’t want every single day I can get with you.”
The creak of leather echoed between them as her hands tightened on the reins. Her pulse thudded in her ears. “You don’t know what you’re signing up for.”
“I know exactly what I’m signing up for.” He eased his gelding closer, stopping just ahead of her so hers would follow. “A woman who drives me crazy with her lists, who sees the world in details I’d never notice, who makes me want to be better than I am. I’m signing up for a life with the woman I halfway fell in love with on a pineapple truck.”
And just like that, her heart—already unsteady from the day—did a freefall.
A few days ago, she’d been clutching annulment papers on a bench in town, telling herself she’d been right about him all along. That the distance she’d been keeping these past days was smart, self-preserving. And now? Now, he was dismantling all her defenses in one impossible, earnest breath.
His hand reached across and closed over hers, tugging her fingers from the reins. The warmth of his skin bled through her gloves, grounding her and shattering her all at once.
Her pulse was still uneven when Gideon’s thumb brushed over her knuckles before he let her go and guided his gelding off the trail.
“Come on,” he called over his shoulder.
She hesitated. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Curiosity won out over caution, and she nudged her mare after him. They wove between stands of juniper and pinyon pine until the red rock opened into a wide, sunlit clearing. The groundrolled gently toward a ridge that dropped into the valley, the peaks beyond capped in white. It looked like the kind of place people put on postcards—and the kind of view she could lose herself in if she wasn’t careful.
Gideon swung down from his horse in one smooth motion, then came to her side and held out his hands. “Come on, Jules.”
Her mare shifted under her, but she took his hands and let him help her down. The solidness of him was a jolt of warmth against the crisp air.
He didn’t let go right away. “You know me. I’m not a planner. Most of my life has been saying yes to whatever’s next.”
She smirked faintly. “You don’t say.”
“But,” he went on, eyes searching hers, “there are a few things about the future I’ve thought about. One of them’s right here.” He gestured toward the open sweep of land, the mountains framing it like a painting. “I’m building a house here. Big porch, big garden. Enough space to breathe but close enough to the ranch to feel connected. Just over that hill is Zeke and Kaitlyn’s place. And through those trees? Jason and Cassie.”
Her chest tightened. In the two months she’d been here, she’d never heard Gideon mention anything he’d thought about doing more than a day or two in advance. What he was mentioning here was a real plan. A vision for his future. Gideon might not know what he wanted for dinner tonight or where he would go on his next vacation, but now she realized that he had always had a better idea of what he wanted his life to look like than she did. He might follow his whims and say yes on short notice, but he’d always had a stronger foundation to come back to.
He didn’t need such ironclad control over the small things like she did. And maybe if she really trusted the Lord, she didn’t either. She had a foundation that wouldn’t be shaken in Christ—she just had to believe it.
“It’s not a mansion in Beverly Hills,” his voice softened, but the intent in it landed like a weight in her ribs. “But it’s home. And I want to share it with someone who makes all the wide-open space mean something.”
