Page 10 of The Space He Left
The question hit harder than I expected. "She's fine. She's strong. She can handle things while I deal with this crisis."
Pete shook his head. "So this family emergency isn't Harper?"
I drove away with his words echoing in my head, but I forced myself to focus on Madison. She needed me right now. Harper was safe at home, surrounded by people who loved her. Madison was alone, fighting for her life.
The drive to the city had become muscle memory – which lanes moved fastest, where to merge, how to shave ten minutes off the trip. I'd made this journey six times in seven days, each one feeling more urgent than the last.
Harper's call came as I hit the highway. "Hey, Harps."
"Hi. Are you on your way to see the Millers?"
"No, I've had to head back to the city. Madison's having some complications with her treatment."
There was a brief pause. "Is she okay?"
"I don't know yet. She sounded pretty scared on the phone." I merged into the fast lane, pressing harder on the accelerator. "I'm sorry, I know we were supposed to go to that birthing class tonight."
"It's okay. The class runs every week. We can catch the next one."
"Are you sure? I know you were looking forward to it."
"Jack, she has cancer. A birthing class can wait."
The words should have made me feel better, but somehow they made the guilt worse. "I'll make it up to you. This won't last forever."
"I know. Just... be careful driving, okay? And tell Madison I'm thinking about her."
"I will. I love you."
"I love you, too."
After I hung up, I tried to push away the nagging feeling that I was disappointing Harper. She said she understood, and she did. But Pete's words kept coming back: How's Harper? Everything okay with the pregnancy? It hit me that I'd hardly been there for her recently.
But this was an emergency. When Madison had first called me from the hospital, she’d explained everything in a torrent of panicked words. She’d been in town for a conference when she got the dizzy spells that led to the diagnosis. The doctors had told her the treatment needed to start immediately, and that she'd need to be near the specialized cancer center here for the foreseeable future.
"Why not go home?" I'd asked her. "Back to your mom and her husband?"
"They’re on the other side of the country, Jackie," she’d said, her voice cracking. "And they're older now, frail. I can't put this on them. And besides," she’d added, a detail that had sealed my sympathy, "this hospital has one of the best oncology departments in the country. The doctors said staying here gives me the best chance."
So she was staying at a long-term-stay hotel near the hospital, a place outpatients used when they needed to be close for daily treatments or monitoring. It made perfect sense, but it also meant she was completely isolated, cut off from her family and any real support system. She had no one but me.
The hotel desk clerk recognized me now, offering the same awkward smile. I used the key card Madison had given me after the second emergency, finding her lying on the bed, curled into a ball with a pillow clutched to her chest. Her face was pale and drawn, more fragile than I'd ever seen her.
"What happened?" I sat on the edge of the bed, automatically reaching out to feel her forehead for a fever.
"They cancelled my treatment because my blood work was off, and then I started feeling worse. Nauseous, dizzy, this horrible pain in my chest." Tears spilled down her cheeks. "What if it means the cancer is spreading? What if the treatment isn't working?"
"Hey, slow down." I brushed the tears away gently. "Did you call your doctor?"
"I tried. The office said he was seeing patients and would call back, but it's been hours. I keep thinking about what happens if I die, Jackie. I don't have anyone nearby. No family, no friends. What happens to me?"
The fear in her voice broke something inside my chest. "You're not going to die. And you're not alone. I'm here."
"But for how long? You have your own life, your own family. I can't keep depending on you like this."
"Yes, you can. That's what friends do. They show up when it matters."
Madison looked at me with those green eyes that had always been able to see right through me. "Is that what we are? Friends?"
