Page 18 of The Space He Left
I looked at Madison's pale face, the way she was swaying slightly on her feet. Harper had Lisa, had support. If she was truly in labor, I had hours to get back. Madison had no one but me right now. It would only take a few minutes to get her back to the hotel. I could probably stay with her for an hour.
"Harper's in good hands," I said, the justification coming easily. "You need me more right now."
Relief flooded Madison's face. "Thank you. I know I'm being selfish, but I can't handle being alone after treatment. Everything feels so scary."
At the hotel, I helped Madison get settled, checking her temperature and making sure she was comfortable.
For a while, my phone had been a constant source of anxiety, buzzing with texts from Harper and urgent calls from Pete. But now it had gone quiet. The sudden silence was a relief. I figured it meant the crisis had passed. Harper's contractions must have eased off, and Pete had likely handled whatever was happeningat work. With everything seemingly under control back home, I could focus on Madison.
She dozed fitfully, waking periodically to make sure I was still there.
"Don't leave me," she whispered during one of these moments. "Please don't leave me alone."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
It was nearly eleven o'clock when I finally got home. The house was dark except for a light in our bedroom. I found Harper lying on her side, her hand resting on her belly, staring at the ceiling.
"Hey," I said softly. "How are you feeling?"
"Fine. False alarm." Her voice was flat, emotionless. "Braxton Hicks, like you said."
"I'm sorry I wasn't here."
"You should have called me," Harper said, not looking at me.
"I texted back. I said it was probably Braxton Hicks, which it was. Nothing to be worried about."
Harper turned to face me then, and I saw something in her eyes I'd never seen before. Not anger, exactly, but something harder. Disappointment mixed with resignation.
"What if it was something to be worried about, Jack? I called you. Multiple times. I texted you over and over. You never answered. You never replied."
I frowned, pulling out my phone, convinced she was exaggerating.
My stomach seized as the screen lit up. A wall of notifications. Seven missed calls from Harper. A dozen texts. Voicemails. All timestamped during the hours I'd been sitting in Madison's hotel room. The silence hadn't been a reprieve; it had been a lie.
"My phone… it was on silent," I said weakly, the excuse sounding pathetic even to my own ears. A memory surfaced, hazy at first, then sharp and clear. Madison, just before she'd settled down to rest, asking to see pictures of our house, of me and Harper. I'd handed her my phone. She must have swiped it to silent while she was scrolling through the photos.
"I'm sorry," I stammered, trying to explain. "Madison must have turned the ringer off while she was looking at pictures. She was so exhausted after her treatment, I guess she just wanted to make sure she could rest without being disturbed..." My voice trailed off as I heard how flimsy it sounded.
Harper stared at me for a long, silent moment. Her expression was unreadable. "She silenced your phone," she stated, her voice dangerously quiet. "And you didn't notice. At all. Even though you knew I might have been having our baby."
The quiet accusation cut deeper than any shout could have. Put that way, it sounded inexcusable. Negligent. Utterly wrong. "Harps, I didn't know—"
"You didn't know because you didn't answer your phone," she interrupted, her voice flat. "For three hours, Jack, I was at the hospital, thinking our daughter might be coming early, and I couldn't reach my husband because he was taking care of his ex-girlfriend."
I sat on the edge of the bed, the weight of what I'd done settling on my shoulders. Harper had been scared, potentially in labor, and I'd been completely unreachable because I'd prioritized Madison's comfort over my wife's needs.
"Who drove you to the hospital?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
"Sam. I called him when I couldn't reach you. He took me and Lisa to the hospital."
Sam. Again. While I'd been promising Madison I wouldn't leave her alone, my wife had been calling Sam because shecouldn't depend on her husband to be there when she needed him.
"Harps, I'm so sorry. I should have been there."
