Page 70 of The Cannon
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In bedwith Bristol is my healing place. Physically, emotionally, there’s something about being next to her that sets things right. But tonight it’s putting my theory to the test. I can’t settle.
“I can’t get him off my mind. There must be something I can do.”
She props herself on an elbow and runs her fingers through my hair.
“Just being his friend is what you can do. If it’s the worst you’re not going to be able to take this pain from him, Sawyer.”
“I know.”
“In my profession I’ve seen death up close. Many times. From the parents’ perspective, from the sibling’s views. It’s a hard and heartbreaking event. Jude’s going to have to experience it. There’s nothing you or anybody else can do to save him the pain.”
“His whole life has been painful. I’ve been there inside the world he lives in. It can be isolating. But I never had to handle this kind of thing. I hope it doesn’t push him further into himself. He was just showing signs of reaching out to people.”
“Your influence is a big part of that. Just continue to do what you have been. I see how you encourage him when you’re together. I think you’re his best friend.”
I bring her body close and her words closer.
Chapter 18
Bristol
“Come out, we want to see how it fits.”
Slowly the dressing room door opens to reveal Jude, the ten-year-old vampire. Black tuxedo, cape lined in red and wax fangs. Only the shoes and makeup are missing.
His hands raise menacingly and flares his nostrils. Teeth gnashing and voice growling.
“That’s awesome, man,” Sawyer says, adjusting the folded collar of the cape.
“I’m loving this. We’re going to win best costume hands down. Vampires are a thing in my family,” I say.
“Are we going to see ten other vampires? Maybe should rethink our choice.”
“No! This is so cool!”
“Let’s pick out some tuxedo shoes,” Sawyer says.
I thought Jude would get into this fantasy. And I was right. It’s up a boy’s alley. This is the biggest response I’ve seen to anything in the last month. The most sustained joy. Things have changed with each passing week. He’s a little quieter, more in his head.
Sometimes I catch him staring in the distance. And lately that same expression is on Sawyer’s face. Far away, considering something that can’t be expressed in words. I let them both have their privacy at those times.
But if it lasts too long, I follow up with a kiss, or a hand on a shoulder. It’s odd, but I see the adult in Jude and the child in Sawyer at those moments. One trying to navigate the unknown future, the other reliving the wounds of the past.
“What about these?” Jude calls across the aisle.
He looks so adorable. Vampire or not, the kid is cute. When I spray his hair black, the blue eyes are going to pop.
“They look great. Are they comfortable?”
“Yeah. I mean, not like my tennis shoes, but pretty good.”
“You’re going to be dancing remember,” Sawyer says in a matter-of-fact tone.
The horrified look on Jude’s face reflects just how distasteful the idea of dancing is to a ten-year-old boy.
“No, I’m not. Uh, that’s a big no.”
