Page 86 of The Cannon
“Ineed to talk to you about something important,” Sawyer says repositioning himself in our bed.
He’s up on an elbow and I’m having a hard time not kissing those perfectly formed lips. Then I’d crawl under the sheet between his legs.
“Tell me,” I say.
He glances at me with an intent I haven’t seen before.
“How do you feel about Jude? I mean how would you define your relationship?”
“Very simply. I love the boy.”
This brings a wide smile to Sawyer’s face.
“I do too.”
“And where does that lead?”
“You and me Bristol, we haven’t had a typical love. Nothing has gone in a slow straight line, like it does for most people.”
“Very true. But it’s been beautiful despite the twists.”
“We love each other. And that’s never going to change for me,” he says tenderly.
“Or for me,” I say, feeling my heart start beating stronger.
He takes my hand.
“Do you think there would be room in our lives for the boy?”
“What are you thinking?”
He takes a big breath of air as if he needs more oxygen to speak the words.
“I want to be there for Jude on a permanent basis. I’d like to see if I can adopt him. Bristol, I know I’d be a good father to him. In my heart he’s already my son.”
I sit quietly, absorbing the enormity of what he’s proposing. He continues.
“Is this something you’d even consider? Could you see a future where you’re a mother to a clearly wounded but really awesome child?”
“To answer your first question, yes. I’ve thought about it a lot. But I didn’t want to plant that seed in your mind. You needed to come to that place on your own.”
His embrace is full of joy and emotion.
“Oh God! I’m so happy it’s not a no.”
“Hold on. I have to say this now because you’re jumping the gun.” A pointed look accompanies my monologue. “Father? Mother? I’d never take on the responsibilities that will come with this unless I was married. And I’m a little pissed that I have to bring it up myself!”
He covers my face in kisses then moves to my hands.
“Baby, I’m sorry! No, don’t say that as if it hasn’t been an understanding between us. I only hesitate to talk about it more because I was waiting for the storms to pass. With all that’s happened you could have changed your mind about us.”
“As if.”
We both are half laughing at ourselves.
“Listen to me, Mr. Sawyer Tom,” I say with a steeled stare.
“Yes, beautiful? What do you want to tell me?”
