Page 90 of 7 Miles High
“Parker! You look great!” I yell for all to hear.
The laughter and joy of our friends fill the room. I hear Jenna whistling a cat call.
When the camera pulls back, Danny’s crew come into the picture. They’re sitting in the high school bleachers listening to Danny tell them about his summertime romance. Oh God! Elliott, James, and Parker’s father are beat bopping teenagers in pitch-black hairpieces. A few have no rhythm but they all can lip-sync. Where’s Matt I wonder?
The thought hasn’t even left my mind when the question is answered. The screen splits and we see the back of a blonde wig on a big head. When it turns the theater erupts in laughter. Matt is playing Sandy, Olivia Newton John’s role, complete with short bangs, pink lipstick, and a sleeveless summer dress!
There’s so many comments in the room and bursts of laughter.
Sandy’s friends consist of Maggie, Jenna, Elizabeth, and Holly. Maggie plays the wise-cracking Rizzo, complete with a cigarette hanging from her mouth. Virginal Sandy, aka Matt, is sweetly telling the story of how she fell for Danny.
It’s hysterical to see our friends and families trying to portray iconic characters. Matt’s huge hands have delicate rings on them and he has all the gestures of a girl down pat. Eyelash batting, pinky finger lifting, head tilting girls.
Parker’s father is the oldest teenager at the school! The black wig against a sixty-year-old face is definitely funny. Danny is being macho as he lets his friends in on his version of the summer nights. “I met this girl, she went crazy for me.”
Matt’s Sandy tells a different story. She saw it as innocent and romantic. The poodle skirted girls listen intently at the lunch table. “I met a boy he was as cute as can be.”
The details Parker included are unbelievable. I’m crying tears of happiness and I’m touched beyond words. He squeezes my hand, as the song comes to an end. But it’s not over. The scene comes to an end as both Sandy and Danny tell us at summer’s end they made one true vow. Fade out.
Fade in to a long shot of the back of a house. It’s night. Stairs lead from the back door to the small yard. Another house can be seen over the fence. My God, Parker recreated the scene I know from the film. As the music starts, I know I’m right. Out from the house comes Matt. Sandy. Oh Jesus! He’s dressed in a long white nightgown with a white headband to match! There’s so much laughter coming from the rows behind us it almost drowns out the lyrics.
Matt slowly moves down the steps as he sings. At one point he holds on to the post and looks up at the sky. He’s so friggin funny. He lip-syncs the words and puts himself in one hundred percent. Other than him being a two hundred and fifty-pound redheaded man in real life, you’d swear he was a seventeen-year-old girl.
He sings about Sandy’s heartbreak and when he says there’s just no getting over Danny, big tears are in his eyes! Method acting at its finest. The lyrics build to a crescendo and he puts his entire body into it. Opening his arms and making a crestfallen expression. It’s both humorous and impressive.
“I’m out of my head, hopelessly devoted to you!” he cries to the heavens. As the song fades, the audience claps their approval. Three rows back Matt hollers, “Are you not entertained?”
The new scene fades in and it touches my heart before I hear one note. I recognize it by the setting. Danny stands with his boys, hanging out at a carnival. They’re acting like tough guys when one of them spots someone approaching. Parker’s father gives a wolf whistle, making Danny turn and look.
It’s Sandy, aka Matt, dressed like a real bad girl. Black leather jacket and pants. Blonde hair wild instead of slicked down in a nineteen fifties flip. High black boots and a cigarette dangling from her mouth.
“Sandy?” Parker says.
Matt gives him a long slow burn of a look before saying, “Tell me about it, stud.”
The theater erupts. People can be seen in the background dancing. Oh! The carnival riders and the backup dancers are made of every one of the people I’m sitting in this audience with. My eyes well with tears. When I look around me I’m greeted with their lovely and happy expressions.
Danny sings about the chills Sandy’s giving him. They’re multiplying. And he’s losing control! He removes his jacket and starts to dance to her.
This is where Parker shines. He’s awesome! The theater is rocking with the singalong that just springs up. We all know the lyrics and the women especially are most definitely entertained. When Parker falls to his knees in front of Sandy and she places her foot on his chest and pushes him over, they go wild.
She tells him to shape up because she needs a real man.
“You tell him!” Jenna yells.
Then things start to get really funny. Matt and Parker get inside the carnival’s slow spinning tube, recreating the famous scene. But it quickly goes wrong. Matt takes a hard fall and keeps spinning, knocking Parker on his ass when he comes around. Matt’s blonde wig falls half off. It’s hanging by a clip. One of his boots flies to the cement walls and drops onto Parker’s head.
“That hurt like hell,” Parker says laughing.
“Is that how you got that lump you showed me? I thought it was from a fight scene!” I say, punching his arm for emphasis.
“I had to lie, babe. But it was for a good cause.”
“You weren’t the only one hurt! I pulled my vagina!” Matt adds to everyone’s amusement.
Onscreen, Danny and Sandy crawl out of the spin. Trying to get back into character is tough. They’re laughing and straightening their clothes. Sandy adjusts his balls. Or maybe it was his vagina. Parker hits him on the arm to stop him from continuing.
“Got an itch there, Matt?” James says from the back rows.
