Page 49 of Royal Pain
Chapter 17
Zan
“Papa, open your mouth. I’ve got your favorite soup.”
My mother sits on the opposite side of the bed, holding his hand. Her face wears the worry and gut -wrenching sadness she carries.
“Manza, you must eat a little. Please, my love.”
No response, although his eyes are open. This silence is the most disturbing turn. He’s gone within. If my mother can’t break through none of us can. I look to her for I don’t know what. Permission to quit trying to force feed him? She raises a palm. I set the soup down on the tray, and get it out of the way.
A finger signals me to follow.
“I’ll be back after you take your nap, Papa.”
Outside we walk toward the voices coming from the other room.
“I’m losing my hope, son. And it’s coming faster than we were told.”
Eyes plead for me to have another opinion, but I don’t.
I don’t want to remind either of us the doctor said “Maybe six months”. At the time I thought that was about the weakest way to give us all a glimmer of faith. Now I know it was a kind of generosity.
Before we round the corner I give my mother a hug that lasts longer than any I’ve given before. I want to comfort her. And me.
“Is Dad awake?” Tarik’s voice calls.
As soon as we round the corner and are met by the concerned faces of my brothers, my mother starts crying. There’s no wails or any sound. It’s her quiet grief that punches me in the gut. Rarely have I seen this. She’s the strongest among us, and also the most private. But great love makes all our emotions come to the surface. I’m just beginning to know that truth.
“Mom, come sit here with me,” Tarik says, patting the spot next to him.
“Dad’s resting,” I say.
“Did he talk?” Kwai asks.
“No.” I know they wanted another answer, but I didn’t have it to give.
* * *
The early morning’s scenes still play in my head, while we’re moving closer to our destination. Even the woman in my arms can’t remove the images.
Belinda’s first trip to Africa was too short. I’m hoping for much more. Do I dare imagine a day when airports and goodbyes are unnecessary? If I were to bring the subject up this soon, it might scare her.Slow your roll, Zan.
“When are you coming back? They’ll always be a ticket waiting.” So much for playing it cool.
We’re wrapped up in each other’s arms, her head resting against my chest. The International Terminal is only a few minutes away. Damn. The morning went by too quickly.
“Are you sure your family would want that?” she says, looking back at me. “It’s such an intimate time.”
“I’ve already passed it by my mother. That’s the only person whose opinion I needed. My brothers are fine with it, they understand.”
“It’s not like I’d be anywhere around the private residence. I want to support you. Even if it’s just to be a shoulder for you to cry on.”
I pull her closer. “So you’re coming back?”
“If you want me to. Maybe at the beginning of next month. James’ wedding will be in the rearview mirror. You know I’d get out of it if it was anyone but one of my brothers.”
“I understand, baby. I’ll take what I can get. Come back as soon as you think it’s right.”
