Page 23 of Until Now
Looking down, I realize the seams are obviously showing. Oh shit.
“Want me to leave?” He says it hoping for the right answer.
Wish a feeling of confidence would rise in me. I’d love to be the woman who could do a sexy striptease for my man. But it’s just not me. My eyes plead for understanding.
“Yes, please,” I say with a half-smile. “Let’s wait till we’re at the hotel, okay?”
“No problem. I’ll be in the other room.”
* * *
Instagram perfect. That’s how it feels walking up to the boutique hotel in the light of an early summer’s evening. Just an hour outside of Smyrna, The Cosgrove tickles the senses. Fern-flecked hillsides and gardens bursting with blossoms announce we have arrived. Tennesseans have a thing for the countryside vibe, and a romantic notion is part of that.
A purple Crepe Myrtle lined path leads to the intricately carved metal doors. It makes everything look like we are about to enter a secret, hidden world, which is sort of accurate. There’s a sense of retreat here.
“This is spectacular,” I say, looking at all the details.
“It really is. Kim told me she heard it was special. And romantic.”
The words make me happy. He hasn’t brought another woman here. How could he? I don’t think this was here when he was a Tennessee resident.
The doorman swings the door open and offers a pleasant smile as we pass through. Right away, I feel a kind of calmness. This is no busy lobby, with vacationing tourists in lines at the front desk. It is all done elegantly, intentionally, and with a minimalist bent. It is dramatic in its simplicity. A well-dressed and perfectly groomed silver-haired man approaches.
“Welcome to The Cosgrove. We are so happy you have chosen us for your stay. May I get your names please?”
“Thank you. It’s under Ripley. Maxen Ripley.”
He uses his phone to check on the reservation and quickly returns it to his pocket.
“You’ll be in room seven. It has a spectacular view I think you’ll both enjoy. Let me have the valet take your bags.”
A rise of his hand brings a young man to our side. He barely looks eighteen, even in his spotless presentation.
“Room seven, please.”
Turning back to us, he continues. “I recommend Hibiscus, our five-star restaurant, for your dinner. Or perhaps you might enjoy dining in-room. You will find a detailed list of other good choices as well. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to call me personally. Here are my card and your key. Above all, we hope you enjoy our little world. We have created it with you in mind.”
We head for the room, and we are both quiet. Another couple passes us in the hall. The woman nods, and I wordlessly return her kindness. There is not enough spit in my mouth to form actual words. I wonder if Maxen can sense my nerves? When he takes my hand and wraps his warm fingers around my cold ones, I know he must.
I don’t know whether to be glad or mad, it’s a one-story hotel. On the one hand, an elevator ride would give me more time to calm down. On the other, I might have a stroke if this anticipation has more time to build. Within seconds we are at the door.
“Finally,” he says, inserting the keycard.
Finally? It only took two minutes from lobby to room. Oh hell. I am about to be ravaged; the meat ripped from my bones until nothing is left. This is either one of the best days of my life or the worst. What if I am a lousy lay? I want to cry. Or scream. That’s it. I definitely feel like screaming. My kisses made him think he’s getting a sexual dynamo. False advertisement! That’s what he’s going to think.
