Page 37 of The Leaves In Autumn
“What suicide?”
“That’s how Aargon’s wife died. I just found out myself. Aurora told me. Nobody talks about it much anymore.”
“I thought she had some horrible disease!”
“She did. It was an emotional illness.”
“Oh shit!”
“I’ve been dying to tell you, but I wanted to respect Van. This goes to the grave with us, Barbra.”
“I know.”
“You must really consider what he is dealing with. He may seem right, but it might be wrong timing.”
My cell beeps with another call.
“Oh God. It’s Aargon. Call you back.”
I switch calls and sit up in bed.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
Now our short-handed greeting seems shallow. But there was a sound to the one word I have never heard before. I feel compassion.
“What happened between last night and this morning? Where did you go, Aargon?”
A frustrated puff of breath leaves him.
“I was having a bad morning. I don’t know any other way to say it. And I’m sorry you had to see it. I don’t know what happened. I promise it won’t happen again.”
He is going to try hiding the truth from me. Or from himself. Both.
“Where do you think it’s coming from?”
“Who knows? Can I request a do-over? A mulligan?”
Oh no. I am not going to be the enabler.
“No need. We’re fine. Let’s forget about it. We’re good.”
I say it like it is true. There’s a pause before he answers.
“You sound funny. I fucked up, didn’t I?”
“Absolutely not. We had a great time last night. Right?”
“Well, yeah, but you sound like it’s over.”
Now I stay silent.
“No. Let’s not overreact. I was an asshole, and I admit it. I don’t think it calls for such a radical response.”
There was a pinch of anger in the words. I don’t like that. I have to get ahold of this. In a matter of seconds, I analyze the problem.Get back to our default position. I’ll be able to help him there. Friend to friend honesty. With tenderness. We fucked up leaving that relationship. I need to convince him I’m right.
“Here’s what I think. We had a perfect relationship. A real friendship. We almost traded it because of a very lovely, crazy sexy, night. It was wonderful, but I think we should get back to where we started. If we do it now it can work. We wait too long, and walls will have been built between us. Let’s not ruin the short time we have left together before I leave. I want to be your friend forever.”
