Page 108 of From Ice to Grace
I frown, crossing my arms. “What are you trying to say?”
He huffs. “Nothing,” he says. “Forget it.”
But I can’t. There’s a look in his eyes I haven’t seen before. Something between fear and resignation. The same man who takes hits on the ice without flinching suddenly wants to retreat.
He walks to the window, bracing his arms on the frame as he looks out toward the street. The tension in his shoulders are clear. Maybe this is about the comment Axel made. He may have deflected Axel’s words about me attaching myself to someone else, but maybe it bothers him more than he’s letting on.
“Declan,” I say softly, wrapping my hands around the mug, fighting the urge to go over to him. “What he said in the hallway?—”
“You don’t have to defend yourself, Snow,” he says, shaking his head, still not looking at me.
“I just don’t want you to think anything of it.”
“I’m not thinking anything,” he says, turning back to me with a sigh. “It’s just been a long day.”
He looks tired. Not physically…but rather emotionally. And perhaps even deeper.
I nod. “Yes. It has.”
We both stand there, unsure of how to close the gap that has somehow opened between us. He takes a step toward me, and I meet him instinctively. His hand finds the small of my back, firm and warm, pulling me into him. His chest rises against mine, the familiar rhythm of his breathing calming something inside of me. He sighs heavily, pressing a kiss in my hair.
“You did good today,” he murmurs. “Facing him. You did good, Snow.”
Something inside of me has definitely lifted. Not all the way…but there’s a call inside my heart. A call to pray.
And I know when I answer, the Axel chapter in my life will be dealt with.
Then I can fully step into what God has for me next.
I tilt my head up, meeting his gaze. “Today was a good day for both of us, Declan,” I whisper.
My gaze falls to his mouth before I can stop it, the memory of our kiss from earlier stirring butterflies in my stomach. There were reporters watching us then…even if it felt real. My hand finds his jaw, the roughness of his stubble grounding me. He leans into my touch, eyes closing briefly, as if it’s the first peace he’s felt all day.
I rise onto my tiptoes, and kiss him.
It’s soft at first, testing his response to see if the kiss before the game was real or not. His lips are still, warm and unmoving against mine and for a second I start to worry that I imagined the moment we had.
But then something shifts, he exhales slowly, his hand moving up my spine, holding me steady. The touch sends shivers through me. He’s kissing me back, not hurried or desperate, but slow and with intent. He deepens the kiss just enough, like he’s trying to memorize the feel of me.
When he finally pulls back, my heart is racing. His gaze is dark, his thumb brushing against my cheek as he stays close, his breath mingling with mine. He rests his forehead against mine, the space between us charged.
“Get some sleep, Snow,” he says quietly, his voice rough and low.
I nod, not trusting myself to say something. Because there’s no chance I’ll sleep now. With the feeling of his kiss lingering against my lips, I head to the guest bedroom, hope blooming in my chest.
For the first time in a year I have hope for what’s to come, hope that maybe God is writing a new love story for me. One where I can move on from a hurtful past into a future that was meant for me all along.
After taking a shower, I pull on my pajamas and get into bed, settling in against the pillows. It’s comforting after the intense day I’ve had. The call to close my eyes and spend time in God’s presence is like a sharp tug inside my heart. I grab my Bible from the nightstand and open it.
From down the hall, I hear the click of Declan’s door, knowing he went to bed too. A soft smile tugs at my lips. This thing that’s happening between us might be strange and unexpected…but it has a warmth settling in my chest that I haven’t felt in a long time.
I open my Bible to Psalm 51, and my eyes trace over the words I’ve read so many times before.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
