Page 29 of From Ice to Grace
He seemed genuinely bothered that everyone around him had picture perfect families, or marriage stories, and he doesn’t. I thought it would be something he’d welcome, instead it looked like it was hard for him to accept. I’ve never seen him react that way before. His default is usually charming defense, which fits him on and off the ice, but that’s not who I saw last night.
And if that’s true, that means that maybe I misjudged him.
Perhaps I not only took my anger out on him, but I lumped him into the same category as Axel, because it was very convenient. Convenient to me but not necessarily fair to Declan.
A laugh from behind me draws my attention. Melissa is standing at the bar, Declan’s number 23 splayed across her back as she leans against the counter with her cellphone held high. She’s taking selfies with two girlfriends she brought along.
I scoff. “She’s not even watching him,” I mutter before turning back to the game, just in time to see Declan getting into a shoving match with the Wild’s goalie.
The whistle blows and Declan gets his first penalty for interference. He knows better than going after the goalie. On his way to the penalty box, he swings his stick against the boards, snapping it in half before tossing it onto the ice.
Please, God. I don’t know if Declan even knows you, but I know You know him. Help him through this. He needs You.
After the silent prayer to God, I’m left stunned in my seat. I have no idea where that came from. I’ve never felt the need to pray for Declan…ever. That fact alone has a frown forming between my eyes.
Why haven’t I ever prayed about Declan?
Sure, I’ve prayed about my judgmental tendencies, about God helping me to guard my mouth and words…but I’ve never specifically prayed for Declan Murphy.
And looking down at where he’s sitting in the penalty box, clearly agitated as he squirts water in his mouth, I can’t believe I’ve never offered a prayer for him.
“He’s not doing so good out there.” The words come out loud instead of staying put inside my mind.
Hannah doesn’t respond immediately, but I can feel her intent gaze on me.
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” she says carefully, “but do you think that maybe a part of the reason why you don’t want to leave has got something to do with a certain defenseman down there?”
I almost choke on my drink. My gaze darts between her and the man in the penalty box.
“Are you being serious?” I ask, my voice sounding a bit too high. I shake my head. “I would never make a decision like this based on that man down there.”
She holds her hands up in mock surrender, turning back to the rink with a small smile on her face.
“Fine, just an observation. You’re really invested in his game.”
“I’m invested in the game, Hannah. In the Rangers’ game.” I turn to the ice, watching the team in blue, red and white fight for a win against Minnesota. “I love hockey. My brother has played all his life…I’m a hockey girl. That’s all this is. It’s not about him.”
I’ve always been drawn to Declan’s game. Anyone who knows and appreciates hockey would be. That doesn’t mean I’m drawn to him, right? It’s not the same thing.
“And the girls?” Hannah asks, this time a bit more cautious. “You didn’t really like Megan?—”
“Neither did you,” I remind her just thinking about the blonde who really only cared about what she could get from being associated with Declan.
“True,” she says. “I tried, though. And now with Melissa…”
The words feel a bit safer coming from a friend. It causes me to take a second and think about why I’m this offended by Declan and his girlfriends. I never wanted to get to know them or invite them into the WAG group, but that’s because I knew they weren’t here to stay.
“Maybe it’s because his behavior reminds me of Axel. I told you, I don’t like it when people take relationships lightly. And that’s what Declan does. He’s a decent player…but as a man he needs a little help.”
“We all need a little help,” Hannah says, shrugging.
I don’t have an answer to give. She’s not wrong. But I’m not in the mood to unpack the emotional baggage I’ve been dragging around, and apparently tacking onto the people around me.
Declan is back on the ice, and this time he seems a bit more edgy. I hope he doesn’t lose it in this game the same way he did last game. He needs to keep focus. They need him to stay in control.
A shift change blurs by and suddenly Lindgren is charging down the ice, chasing the puck into the corner. But before he can dig it out, a Minnesota defenseman barrels into him…hard. He crashes into the boards with enough force that the plexiglass wobbles.
“That was a clear penalty, right there,” I say, pointing toward the hit. “That was from behind! How could they miss that?”
