Page 91 of From Ice to Grace
“I can’t name a single thing that felt like pretending today,” I tell her honestly.
She doesn’t say anything, and I lift my eyes to hers, wondering what I’ll find.
I’m not sure if it’s because we’re married, and somehow it feels like we’re bound together, which offers safety for honest words. Or if it’s because it’s the middle of the night, we’re alone, and it feels like secrets won’t get out.
A small smile plays along her mouth. “I can say the same,” she says carefully.
It feels like a knot in my chest has been undone. I pull her into my side again, pressing my mouth against her hair.
“Okay,” I murmur. “Starting tomorrow, we tell each other what we need. That’s something we can do.”
My arms tighten around her without my permission. She asked for honesty and holding her, feels honest.
For now I can’t say what I really need. But hopefully when the time is right, I’ll be able to say it.
And she’ll be able to hear it.
Brady Sullivan: Update on the player you knocked out. Medicals clear. Resuming play tonight.
Relief moves through me as we step into our new home—at least Brodin’s health is one less thing I have to worry about.
After last night, something has shifted between me and Avah. Not monumentally, but in a small way that has us making space for each other in a way we didn’t before.
“Everything alright?” she asks, having noticed my reaction to the message on the phone.
“Yes.” I close the front door behind her, and follow her into our new livingroom, setting down our bags on the plush carpet. “Brady says Brodin’s fine, no permanent harm done. He can play again tonight.”
“That’s good news,” she says, her smile reaching her eyes. “Right?”
I look around the space that’s our new home. Brady arranged everything. A fully furnished place: rugs, curtains, lamps. The living room even has books on the coffee table and a plant thriving in the corner. It feels more like we’re coming home after the weekend, and not stepping into a new house for the first time.
The sunlight flooding into the space through the giant windows frames her beautifully, and for a second I can only stare.
“You’re right,” I manage, forcing myself back on track. “It definitely makes this whole ordeal less complicated. I don’t even want to think about what could’ve happened if?—”
“So don’t think about it,” she says softly, laying her hand on my arm. “God has been good in this situation and that’s all you have to know.”
I just nod. I didn’t even think that maybe God had something to do with the outcome of any of this. In my mind He’s just been…missing. But maybe He’s doing what He does and I’m the one missing all of it.
“I can’t thank you enough, Declan,” she says, her voice fragile, her gaze anywhere but on me. “I know we’ve had our…differences, but what you’ve done for me—” She shakes her head. “Thank you.”
The words scratch at something inside of me. I step closer, the need to erase her line of thought hitting me harder than an open-ice hit. She shouldn’t be thanking me. I don’t want her to think that I’m doing her a favor, or worse…that she owes me something.
“I’m the one who needs to thank you, Snowflake.”
‘Thank you’ won’t ever be enough. She’s saved me in more ways than one. Her honest words may have cut deep at first, but now it’s clear that I needed to hear them. Her words gave me a glimpse of the man I was becoming. And now she’s giving me the chance to redeem myself, to fix what I’ve almost broken to the point of no repair. If it wasn’t for her stepping in, my life would’ve gone up in flames.
There’s no way to deny it.
None of those words leave my mouth. Instead, I’m staring at her in awe and wonder. I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve her time.
My gaze dips to her mouth, remembering what it feels like to press my lips against hers. She asked me to be honest with her…every day.
And right now, the honest truth is that I want to kiss her.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, breaking the moment between us. I step back, pulling the phone out half-thinking it’s Brady again. Instead, it’s Lindgren. His text has me frowning and smiling at the same time.
“What is it?” Avah asks, narrowing her gaze at me.
