Page 174 of Tall, Royal Hater
It had always been her.
It had just taken some time to accept that my feelings weren’t going to change. And now I didn’t want to lose the one chance I’d had to give her a reason to feel the same about me.
“She’s gone,” Prince Kai answered in Esmeralda’s silence.
My stomach slid down like a raindrop on a window. “What do you mean she’s gone?”
He gave me an apologetic frown. “We just dropped her off at the airport.”
No…no, no. Fuck no!
“Why?” I glanced frantically between them. “Her flight wasn’t until half eleven.”
He looked to Esmeralda to reply. “She wanted to see if she could leave on an earlier flight,” she said. “We helped her get it changed. She’ll be getting on the nine-thirty flight now.”
That meant in over an hour she’d be up in the air on her way back to Raven.
I swung away on a bitten-out curse and raked my hands through my hair. Several possibilities presented themselves, but none were viable as they mostly relied on getting to the airport before the plane left. If I drove to the airport now, I wouldn’t make it in time.
My only other option was—
I stepped back around. “When we get back to Jahandar, I’d like to take a few days off.”
Esmeralda shook her head. “I’m not going back to Jahandar today. Only you are. There should be a ticket in your email inbox.” At my disbelief, she added, “I spoke to Kareem, and he said it would be possible for me to stay a week longer since I had no public appearances to make. Yunis and the others will stay with me, and we’ll continue on projects that I can work on from here.” She straightened. “And as for your leave, you no longer have to ask me. I don’t employ you anymore.”
“Esmeralda, don’t fire me,” I pleaded. “I know I messed up but—”
“It’s not just about what you did to Mariyah, Shehryar,” she said. “I can no longer work with you if you are going to hold on to this idea that all rich people are bad. Because I am one of those people. So is Kai. So is Prince Arsh, and now Mama Katiya too. How am I supposed to trust you with my life and safety and work if you won’t let go of your wariness of the circles that I grew up in, that I am a part of?”
She shook her head. “You seem to forget that you grew up in them too. Maybe not in the same way I did, but you were raised in a palace, Shehryar, with far more privileges than many people. And I know what happened with your father was awful and that you have seen a lot of the bad side of wealth, but you can’t keep attributing those same bad traits to everyone with money. How do I know you’re not going to turn around and do the same to me one day?”
“I would never,” I said quickly.
“But you did to Mariyah.”
I shook my head, wanting to argue but I couldn’t.
Because I had. Not just to Mariyah but to many people. To Prince Arsh most of all.
I’d taken my experience with my father and his family and used it to create a bad picture of those with money. I created a stereotype and held on to that prejudice. It was wrong, especially when I acknowledged that I had in fact grown up amongst the better side of wealth. I’d been the bastard son of a new maid, but I’d been given the same toys, clothes, food, and education as an heir to the throne and his younger sister. And neither of them had ever judged me for anything.
But the fear of being judged by them had always been there. Notthemin particular, but those with wealth. Those who still held on to old views of legitimacy, marriage, and children. Those who would have taken one look at my mother and called her a gold digger or me a bastard child. Those who wouldn’t have wanted to associate themselves with me once they found out who I was.
So, I judged them before they could judge me.
Now I’d lost my job, Esmeralda, and Mariyah too because of it.
Esmeralda cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to look at her. “I know how you feel. Like everyone can see it written on your face and they’re judging you for it. But they’re not, and evenif they are, that’s on them. But if you judge yourselfandthem as a result, you’re no better than they are, Shehryar. And you have got to stop doing that. For yourself, if not for anyone else.”
She tiptoed and pressed a chaste kiss to my cheek. “I love you, Sher, but unfortunately, until something changes, this is the way it will be. So, fix this. Please.”
I gave her a firm nod. “I will.”
Mariyah
Dad dragged in my suitcase behind me into our family home while Mum shucked her bright red coat and hung it on the banister. I kept my pale-green puffer jacket on and headed into the living room on the right. It was styled in greys and creams like most of the house, with pops of colour in the form of vases and cushions and whatnot that Mum had bought from random places.
I plonked myself on the fabric sofa opposite the TV tucked before the bay windows. Mum came and stood in front of me with a worried pout on her red-painted lips. Her straight, blonde, long bob swished around her neck as she eyed me with the blue eyes I’d inherited from her.
