Page 51 of The Agent and the Outlaw
“Oh?” she rounded on me. “Why did you follow in your father’s footsteps, Antoine? Why aren’t you at home managing the family estate? How many men did you kill on the battlefield in an attempt to secure your father’s absent approval? Was that why you needed to murder Sade? Was it really about revenge, or was it to prove something to your father—maybe you need him to know that you’re a man to be reckoned with,” she sneered.
Her words sliced me to ribbons. I didn’t know what was worse—her perception of shameful truths that whispered through me, or the fact that she’d fired them at me like bullets. I gaped at her, unsure of what my next words should be. I was angry and hurt and confused by how quickly things between us had escalated from bliss to battle.At least it will be easier for me to leave.
I finished dressing and strode to the door.
“You are right,” I admitted quietly. “My troubled relationship with my father has caused me to make many decisions I’m not proud of. But after the deaths of my sister and my nephew, I realized I needed to set things right. I knew it would be ruinous for me—that, once I’d begun, I’d find myself hurtling toward my own judgment day.” The words had poured out of me so fast I’d said them all in one breath. I had to pause to draw in another. “I used to have much to prove…to my father, to the world, to myself, but not anymore. Not to you, either, Charlotte. I’ve done too many things—killed too many men, made too many mistakes—to be a good man, but I’ve accepted that I don’t need to be a good man to right my wrongs. I’m only sorry that you were another wrong along the way.”
I opened the door, glancing back only once to see her staring at me with a mixture of anger and hurt on her face. Tears welled in her eyes, and she opened her mouth to speak, but I did not wish to hear the words. I closed the door behind me and descended into the tavern. In a sort of numb resignation, I paid the innkeeper the remainder of our bill, bought a bottle of cheap wine along with some additional food and supplies, and went out to the barn to saddle Tartuffe.
“You’re going then, Lieutenant?”
Hand on my sword, I whirled to see Doctor Van Helsing brushing out her dapple-gray mare. I’d been so distracted when I came in, I hadn’t noticed her in the shadowy back corner of the barn.
“I am,” I replied. “Thank you for your services, Doctor. I appreciate you traveling all this way to help care for Charlotte.”
Bright white teeth almost glowing in the gloom, she smiled. “I do not think you need my help to care for her.”
I felt my face grow hot and I scowled. I repacked the saddle bags, trying to hurry away from the too perceptive woman. Tugging at Tartuffe’s reins, I nodded to her by way of farewell.
“A moment, Lieutenant,” she said, leading her horse out.
Merde. Is she leaving, too? Please don’t be heading in my direction.
“I’m heading south to meet up with the duchess and the emissary. They have some medical supplies for me but are not permitted to enter Gévaudan. Would you be so kind as to see me on my way?”
Oh, hell.
“Forgive me, but I’d rather not, Doctor. I’m afraid I’ve delayed much too long here and I’m eager to get back on the road,” I muttered. “Is there anyone else who can see you safely to your party?”
She shook her head. “I’m afraid not. It is far too treacherous on the roads around here for me to travel by myself. I must insist. It will be good for you, I think—I can tell you all about my experiments with the blood plague and my research. I’m sure you will find it all fascinating. Come along, Lieutenant!”
Unable to think of a way to extricate myself from the company of the commanding doctor, I frowned. The last thing I wanted was to ride for hours listening to some scientist prattle on about the plague, but she was right—the area around Gévaudan was exceedingly dangerous. I suspected thebêteswere still lurking around, and who knew what happened to the creature.
“Very well,” I grumbled. “I don’t think I’ll be good company, but I’ll make sure you arrive at your destination safely. You’re ready to leave now?”
“I am,” she said, mounting her horse. “I packed while you were…otherwise occupied.”
I reddened again and tried to hide my embarrassment by saddling Tartuffe.
“Do try to keep up,” she called back to me as she turned down the main road toward the town gate. “I’m in something of a hurry.”
“I’ll do my best,” I grumbled, spurring Tartuffe to match her horse’s pace.
As the town gate came into view, I glanced back over my shoulder. I didn’t know what I expected—or hoped—to see. Perhaps Charlotte running into the street, tearfully waving me down, shouting apologies out over the crowd. I’d jump down from my horse, run back to her, wrap her in my arms and kiss her, swearing that I’d never leave her again, and she’d tell me she was giving up the Order and any other dangerous pursuits so we could retire to her country estate and raise four precocious children. She would say we should go ahead and make plans for a spring wedding. She would insist on inviting my father, who would have given up his power-mad, bloodthirsty ways in the hope of repairing our relationship, then a messenger would arrive to say he’s been tracking me down all this time to tell me Marie and Louis were, in fact, alive, and waiting for me back in Thionville. Thebêteswould stop hunting us, the beast of Gévaudan would leave the town in peace, and all the sufferers of the blood plague would wake up human again, washed of their sins, and with tables groaning under the weight of food.
Despite my melancholy, I smiled at the absurdity of my imaginings. If only happy endings were as prevalent in real life as they were in novels.
“What is it that delights you so, Lieutenant? I am certain it is not my company,” Van Helsing said, slowing to ride beside me.
“Nothing,” I replied, chiding myself for losing focus. “It’s nothing, Doctor. You mentioned that you had some new findings about the plague. Why don’t you share them with me?”
Apparently, that was the right question. Her face lit up with excitement.
“It’s really quite fascinating, Lieutenant…”
“Please, Doctor, just call me Antoine.”
“Very well, Antoine. As I was saying, it’s a fascinating disease. You see, the bodyappearsto die when infected, but I don’t believe that is actually the case. I would say it’s more like the human part of the body goes into a kind of hibernation and the blood plague takes over the faculties of the infected,” she began, growing more animated by the minute.
